Zephyrus of the Anemoi

.the ramblings of a radman.

Category: Video Games (Page 4 of 8)

From the Vault: Endless Ocean

September 15, 2011 /

I originally wrote this review back in February of 2008. Not sure where I posted it, as it’s not on any old blog that I can find. Anyway, I was doing some “fall cleaning” on the computer and came across it. I thought it was interesting and chose to post it. I personally love that at the time I wrote it, it was still harder to find a Wii than Bin Laden.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

I have been waiting for a “game” like this my entire life.

I’m not even exaggerating with that statement. I love video games. I’ve devoted a great deal of my free time to this hobby, and will likely continue to do so until I’m old and grey and can’t move my fingers anymore (and with luck, I won’t need to in the future, anyway).

One of the big reasons I love video games is that I get to do things that I don’t normally get to do. Like fly, destroy buildings, slay monsters and demons, and rescue princesses from pirates.

Okay, I do occasionally get to do that last one.

And while I am certainly capable of going SCUBA diving off the coast of Manoa Lai, I realistically can’t afford something like that. Enter “Endless Ocean”, a game that allows you to attempt to capture that experience without all the water, sea sickness, and wet suits.

This game is (like the song that plays over the opening titles of the game, all over the web site, and the trailer) hauntingly beautiful. There isn’t a better way to describe it. From the sun’s light filtering down through the water to sparkle off the coral, sand and marine life, to the exquisite sound and music production that fills your head long after you quit playing.

And, since the game is simple enough that anyone can play, has no violence whatsoever, and is incredibly educational in the field of marine biology, all ages can enjoy it, even if they’re not yet old enough to read.

So go pick this game up, if you have a Wii. Or go play it at a friend’s house. Or just go buy it until you can actually find and/or afford a Wii. It’s worth it. As far as $30 games go, you absolutely cannot go wrong with this game.

Cool, crisp air and pumpkin beer (and Mario)

September 8, 2011 /

Fall came early this year, as we finally got some much-needed rain on Saturday, breaking summer’s back. We were at Woodyard BBQ with our neighbors, one of whom is Lezlie Revelle. She was playing open mic at Woodyard BBQ (which was a lot of fun, and I recommend checking it out) and, in honor of Irish Fest in Kansas City this past weekend, she played several Irish ditties, which really made my day.

After our meal, Autumn was craving chocolate, so we went to Russell Stover’s and then back to the neighbors’ home to start watching Game of Thrones. Dave (neighbor and bestie) and I have read the books, but have wanted to wait to watch the series together with our wives. We weren’t disappointed. The first 15 minutes lived up to my expectations of the book, and throughout the episodes, we were both pleasantly surprised by how faithful it is. The ladies were quite impressed, as well, by the writing, the acting, and even the subject matter.

We ate a (very) late dinner while watching the second episode and listened to the rain pour down upon us. I had just picked up my yearly batch of pumpkin beer and brought over two bottles for everyone to try: O’Fallon’s and Schlafly’s. O’Fallon’s has long-been my favorite beer of all time, but I’d never had Schlafly’s. It’s very strong, both in flavor and alcohol content, but I still prefer O’Fallon’s. Schlafly’s spices completely overpowered the pumpkin, which is (in my opinion) the most important part of the beer.

The next day was one of those perfect fall days that make you want to sit on your porch and watch the world change while reflecting on the year. There’s something about fall that always evokes the most nostalgic part of me. I think it’s the scent in the air of leaves and rain and the feel of a cool breeze that brings it to me. I always think of high school football and carefree days of yesteryear. I spent most of the day playing Super Mario Galaxy with Liam and enjoying the weather. We went out to dinner again with the neighbors to get as much time in before Dave left for work again on Monday. After dinner we watched another three episodes of Game of Thrones, each one more exciting than the last. I’m really looking forward to episode 6, as I’m pretty certain I know what awesomely horrific scene it will contain.

Monday was another lazy day. Stan, the husband of my wife’s co-worker came over to replace the brake line on my car and I finished Super Mario Galaxy, by finally nabbing the 120th Star. Now I can play as Luigi, but I’ll save that for the next time I want to play through the game again. I started up Super Mario Galaxy 2 and can honestly say it is a better game in every way so far. It builds on the original so well, that it’s unbelievable that it was originally envisioned as Super Mario Galaxy 1.5. The music is fantastic. The levels are ingenious and much less repetitive than the first. The only flaw in the game is the story, when compared to the first, but that is easy to overlook, as I care much more about the gameplay—which is phenomenal.

It’ll probably be my game of choice for the next few weeks. Hopefully I can complete it 100%, as well. It should be easier, thanks to Avery being able to help more than hurt when assisting as Player 2.

Tonight, I think I’m going to have another O’Fallon and sit outside for a bit to enjoy the weather. Maybe go for a walk and think about what it was like playing the original Super Mario 3 when I was younger, as the leaves changed outside and the air turned and I got nostalgic for Super Mario 1 & 2, a glass of grape juice in my hand.

Chaos Rings Playthrough Diary

May 19, 2011 /

A fantastic iOS JRPG from the creators of the Final Fantasy series. Perhaps the best part of this game is the rather unique combat system. Utilizing a sort of rock-paper-scissors elemental strong vs. weak system and a skill and attack system that centers around choosing to fight as two solo entities or pairing up for increased damage (but higher risk, as attacks against one of you now hit both of you), it feels a little reminiscent of Chrono Cross.

From the beginning, you can choose to play through the game as two different teams, but there are four total scenarios to play, each with multiple endings and a New Game+ option. If you wish to do everything, it’s quite possible to turn this into a 60-80 hour game (I hit 43 hours after playing through all 4 scenarios and leveling all characters to 100). If you have an iOS device and are looking for a unique and only mildly complicated RPG, then this is the game for you.

It’s currently on sale for $3.99 to celebrate the release of Chaos Rings Ω (which I will be picking up as soon as I get paid again).

Enjoy my playthrough diary below.

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April 28, 2011 – 19:47Z
This game has been taking up 274 MB on my iPhone for several months now, but I haven’t played it until now. It’s a gorgeous game, considering that it is being played on a “mobile phone” (though who can really refer to the iPhone as anything less than an ultra-portable computer that happens to make phone calls).

I’m loving it so far. It’s simple enough to be perfect for “pick-up and play” gaming, but complex enough to keep RPG fans interested. I highly recommend it, if you don’t already own it.

I see no reason to spring for the iPad version over the iPhone version unless you just really love gaming on your iPad.

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April 29, 2011 – 20:05Z
The “Gene” system in this game reminds me heavily of Chrono Cross, where each time you use a specific elemental ability you become strong against it and weak to its antecedent. I love that.

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May 1, 2011 – 23:43Z
Seriously. Every time I fire up this game, I like it more than the last time. iOS is quickly becoming the dominant mobile platform for RPGs. I can’t wait to try Final Fantasy III on here.

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May 2, 2011 – 17:53Z
Finished the Escher scenario. That’s a pretty sweet ending, and not at all what I was expecting. Kudos to Square for creating a compelling and unique short story in RPG form. I’ll be interested to see how the story differs in the other scenarios.

Now I’m even more excited for the sequel and prequel.

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May 2, 2011 – 19:22Z
Okay, so apparently I finished the “First Door” ending for the Escher scenario. Went back and played through the “Final Door” ending. Also not what I was expecting, so kudos again, Square. In fact, both endings are rock solid in terms of making the player feel like they accomplished something, though the “Final Door” ending ties up the personal relationship between Escher and Musieia a lot better. Seriously, if you’re a Square-Enix fan, you may want to pick up an iOS device just for this game and its pending sequel/prequel.

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May 3, 2011 – 20:01Z
Eluca’s scenario is significantly tougher than I remember Escher’s being in the early levels. It could just be my desire to push myself to the extremes, however. As easy as the game got in the end of Escher’s scenario, I’m probably just not used to the difficulty of the lower levels. The story barely deviates from Escher’s scenario in the early stages. I’ll be interested to see how it diverges in the final Arena battle.

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May 5, 2011 – 20:45Z
The Ayuta scenario is HARD. I remember that Eluca’s scenario was harder than Escher’s, but I didn’t understand why at the time. While playing through as Escher and Musiea, Mental Wall is a skill that you can use from the beginning. It allows you to take out bosses quite handily, as reflected magical attacks do more damage than those that you initiate yourself. Both Eluca’s and Ayuta’s scenarios don’t allow you to have Mental Wall until after the first Arena combat. While this is not as critical to Eluca, Ayuta and Mana get brutalized by the bosses that focus on magical attacks.

Thankfully, I’ve moved past the first Arena fight and the game has eased up considerably.

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May 9, 2011 – 17:18Z
Ayuta’s scenario is my favorite due to the secrets of his character that are revealed during the course of the game, but Olgar’s has the best story of them all. The twists and turns and the way information is revealed as you play is fantastic. I can’t wait to play the prequel now, knowing what I do about the other contestants in the previous Ark Arena.

The only thing that I’m concerned about for the prequel is that it’ll be repetitive after playing this one. I’ve been through every dungeon at least 8 times and would prefer not to have to do them all over again. But, maybe the parallel timelines theory could allow for the Ark itself to be laid out differently. In this game, each timeline is only slightly different, allowing a different pair to reach the final battle, but if the prequel were to take place in a timeline significantly different from ours, then Square-Enix could justify a new layout for the dungeons.

We shall see.

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May 9, 2011 – 20:32Z
I don’t understand how the greatest warriors of each 10,000 year loop never reach a scientific sophistication capable of creating the Ark, despite having done so originally. Perhaps the Qualia cannot be defeated with science…

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May 11, 2011 – 18:36Z
Finished all 4 scenarios, leveled everyone up to 100, and took out the Qualia. Downside? The final battle was WAY too easy. Even going back into my game after to fight Piu-Piu was too easy. The bosses don’t level up with you, allowing you to walk through the game like a tank once you reach 80+. I wish I had challenged the Qualia back when I was level 50, just to see how difficult it was. But, it’s still satisfying to finish the game.

I look forward to the sequel and prequel, but I certainly hope that they’re both a bit more difficult at higher levels.

Final Fantasy – Down goes Chaos!

April 3, 2011 /

I have been playing Final Fantasy I for iPhone for the last week or so and beat Chaos this morning. I still have a few bonus dungeons to go back and complete, but I wanted to give my thoughts.

First of all, the game is awesome. It’s ported from the 20th Anniversary Edition for the PSP, which is in turn based on the GameBoy Advance Release of Dawn of Souls. The graphics in the PSP (and consequently iPhone) version are fantastic. The music is gorgeous and there were several times I contemplated finding a way to strip the audio out of the application due to its beauty.

While the game is initially much easier than the original NES classic due to a number of engine improvements (such as: characters shifting attacks from defeated enemies to living ones to avoid wasting a turn, the addition of Phoenix Downs and the Full-Life spell to prevent schlepping back to town every time someone died, and being able to save anywhere), it gets quite a bit tougher in some of the boss battles, especially those found in the bonus dungeons. I was thankful for most of the time-saving features that had been added, however. Getting to the bottom of a bonus dungeon only to find out that you’re woefully underpowered and then getting sent back to the start instead of having to load a game saved me a lot of headache. This way, you at least get to keep your experience and items you found in the dungeon. This is great, considering several of the bonus dungeons have more than 20 floors.

Anyway, if you have played Final Fantasy I before and just want to give it another go, or you’ve never played it and want to know why it defined an entire genre for years, then I suggest you check it out.

Great iPhone apps also on Android

November 6, 2010 /

It’s no secret that I’m a fan of the iPhone. The majority of the posts on this blog lately are about what apps I recommend. However, not all of my friends or readers have an iPhone. For those of you that have purchased Android phones, I thought I’d take the time to generate a list of iPhone apps that I’ve played that are also available for your phone of choice. I make no promises that any of these apps play as well as they do on my iPhone, or even that they’ll play on your specific Android device and OS version.

I’ve broken them up into three categories: free apps that I’ve used on the iPhone, paid apps that I’ve used on the iPhone, and apps I’ve never used, but look like they’d be worth picking up if you have an Android device. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a way to link directly to the apps on the Android Market, so it’s up to you to find them. All links on the app names link to the iTunes App Store for the iPhone version of the app.

Free Apps I’ve Used on iPhone:

  • Super KO Boxing 2 – Think “Mike Tyson’s Punch Out” with cartoon graphics: it takes a while to get the timing down if you’re a fan of the “Punch Out” series, but once you do, the game kicks serious ass. And is quite funny. Also comes in a paid version with no ads.
  • Angry Birds – A physics-based puzzler that resembles artillery games of old. Currently free for Android. This has been one of the most successful iPhone apps of all time, and seems to have translated very well to Android.
  • Space Man (Mr. Space!!) – Quickly move your stick figure to the “safe spot” before the ceiling collapses. Simple concept, addictive gameplay. The iPhone app has a different name, but the graphics and gameplay appear to be the same.
  • Bebbled – There have been a lot of SameGame clones for the iPhone, but this one has pulled in both my wife and mother-in-law. Putting it on Android seems like a no-brainer.
  • Meebo – An app that lets you sign into the Meebo.com service, which lets you use one login to access a great number of instant messaging services (AIM, MSN, Yahoo!, etc.). A must-have.
  • Dropbox – If you don’t already use the Dropbox service, you should definitely check it out. It gives you 2GB of online storage that lets you keep files synced between multiple computers. I’ve been using it for years and it is essential for quickly transferring files from one computer to the other, or for making sure that my work laptop and desktop have the same key files on them wherever I go. The iPhone and Android version of the app lets you access your files on your phone, save them to the internal memory of the device, and even email links to them to other people. You can also upload photos into your Dropbox to make sure they are safe. If you don’t have an account yet, sign up here to get an extra free 250 MB of storage.
  • Bible – YouVersion.com has made a large number of translations of the Bible available to mobile users. This app lets you download several of them to your phone’s memory so you don’t need an Internet connection to read them. You can also access all of the other translations through the app, as well.
  • Bump – When this app first came out, I couldn’t understand any reason to use it, but as the developers have advanced it (and made it cross-platform), I’m quite impressed by it. Simply choose what to share (contact info, social networking info, pictures, etc.) and “terrorist fist-jab” with another Bump user to trigger the sharing process.
  • Boink – First, fill out your sexual preferences, then use Bump technology to share them with another Boink user and get a sexual compatibility percentage. Lots of fun at parties.
  • Tango Video Calls – FaceTime is an amazing technology, but restrictions to Wi-Fi networks (most likely due to AT&T being… well… AT&T) makes it less useful than most would like. Tango is a cross-platform video chat app that works over 3G, as well as Wi-Fi. I’ve used it to talk to a friend on an EVO, and it worked fairly well. Not as elegant or smooth as FaceTime, but it’s certainly a nice option to have until FaceTime is more ubiquitous.
  • Sportacular – I like to keep track of how my favorite sports teams are doing, but I’m often unable to watch the games, due to the schedule, or the fact that they’re not broadcast over the air. The only sport I’m interested in that this app doesn’t cover is Scottish Premier League Football (Go CELTIC!), but that likely won’t affect most of you.

Paid Apps I’ve Used on iPhone:

  • Galcon – A fast-paced strategy game with a simple premise: tap on your bases and tap a location to send your armies to overwhelm the enemy. It bears a strong similarity to Risk, but pared down to just the combat and a much faster pace. The iPhone version supports online multiplayer, so it seems likely that the Android version will, also.
  • UniWar – When iPhone 2.0 first released, I waited with great anticipation for a turn-based strategy game for the device. UniWar was the first (and, for the longest time, only) highly-polished game in this genre for the iPhone. Thankfully, there are now a plethora of turn-based strategy and tactics games for the iPhone. Unfortunately, I can’t find the majority of them on Android, but this one is there. Since it has awesome multiplayer support, it’s totally worth picking up.
  • Scrabble – Play Scrabble with Facebook users, iPhone users (that sync with Facebook), and Android users (that also sync with Facebook). You can also just play against the computer, or pass-and-play with your friends.
  • Flick Kick Rugby & Flick Kick Field Goal – A rather simple game of flicking your finger to kick a rugby ball or football through the uprights, while taking into account wind blowing from side-to-side. Honestly, I prefer Flick Kick Rugby to Flick Kick Field Goal, but they are both virtually the same. Pick whichever you want.
  • Reckless Racing – I just picked this up and have to say, it’s rather impressive. The graphics are incredible, and there are plenty of control options for you to choose from. It’s a top-down racer similar to Super Off-Road Racing or R.C. Pro Am.
  • Crush the Castle – Similar to Angry Birds above, but with a medieval theme and a trebuchet launching various munitions, rather than firing birds from a slingshot. It’s a port of the popular flash game, so check it out and see if you like it.
  • 360 Live – A simple app for accessing the web front-end of xboxlive.com so you can see who’s online, send and receive messages, compare achievements, and manage your friends list. My only complaint is that messages are automatically appended with a signature that says that they were sent using 360 Live, unless you manually remove it each time.
  • SoundHound ∞ – If you’ve heard of Shazam, then you understand how SoundHound works. However, SoundHound goes above and beyond by letting users sing or hum a song, or even search by typing in the lyrics of the song. SoundHound ∞ is the unlimited version of the app, but there’s a free version that lets you recognize 5 songs a month (but you can still sing, hum, or search by lyrics for as many as you want).
  • Pulse News Reader – A rather unique take on RSS readers that focuses on a gorgeous visual display of the information. Very useful if you need to read less than 20 sites regularly, or if the sites you read tend to post an image to go along with the story, which really makes it stand out in this app.

Never Used:

  • Instinctiv – Android’s media player leaves a lot to be desired, so when I heard about this player, I started recommending it to everyone. So far, everyone I’ve suggested use it has liked it. Give it a shot.
  • Pacific WIngs – A vertical shooter in the vein of 1942. The graphics look pretty nice, but I can’t speak to the gameplay at all.
  • SolidNote, mNote, & AndroNoter (all sync with SimpleNote) – On the iPhone, I use SimpleNote to take notes. They sync with the cloud quickly and reliably and the app is very fast and easy to use. These three apps are all different apps that sync with SimpleNote, but I’ve never used any of them to determine which are worth using.
  • Crystallight Defense – I couldn’t find my preferred iPhone tower defense titles (The Creeps! and Star Wars: Battle for Hoth) available for Android, but this particular game has pretty nice graphics, and seems to be a popular download for Android OS.
  • Guns’n’Glory – Another popular tower defense title, this one is actually available for iPhone and has been very well received. Play as cowboys fighting off raiders and thieves in this Wild West-themed tower defense title.
  • Pokedex – I sort of missed out on Pokémon in the beginning, but I have grown to love the concept of an RPG where, instead of picking different weapons or powers to use, you pick different monsters to field against your enemies. Even better, is the ability to evolve your monsters adding a sim element to the game. An iPhone app, called Dex lets you see all the different Pokémon types and what they’re weak against, etc. Pokedex appears to be a similar app for Android.
  • WoW Droid Armory – The World of Warcraft Mobile Armory for iPhone lets you view your characters, their stats, equipment, and more. It also gives you a talent calculator, access to the Auction House, and the in-game calendar and several guild tools. The Android version is little more than a browser for what’s available on the WoW Armory web page, letting you see various characters that are viewable in the Armory. Still handy for Android users that want to show off their characters on the go.

The Penultimate List of Great iPhone Apps

September 3, 2010 /

A friend of mine recently purchased an iPhone 4 and asked me “So what apps can I not live without?”

I started to list off several that I use regularly, but realized that the list was going to grow rather large, rather quickly. So, I sent him a quick email of the ones I have on my first two pages and promised him a follow-up email with the rest. Then, I compiled the list into a blog post for all of you out there just now getting an iPhone or an iPod touch for the first time. This is, by no means, an exhaustive list, and if you’d like to know what other apps I recommend, please check out my iPhone category for all posts I’ve made about the iPhone.

Apps that I feel are 100% necessary are rare, but there are several that I swear by for their “WOW!-factor” or just because they’re so much fun. This is that list. I’m sure, I have forgotten several, and I know that I’ll have to make another one eventually (thus, the use of penultimate above). But, it’ll get you started. So, without further ado. Okay, maybe one more ado.

Twitter – There are several of these apps, but the official Twitter app is probably the best.

Boxcar – So you can get push notifications when someone mentions you on Twitter, or when you receive an email at an email address that doesn’t support native push email, or any number of other things.

Facebook – This one’s obvious. If you have a Facebook account, you need a quick-and-easy way to keep in touch with those on the site. This app is not as feature-rich as the full site, or even the “touchOS” version, but it has push notifications and some other really nice features, so check it out.

Chirpie Pro – Let’s you quickly post to Twitter and Facebook simultaneously. There’s a free version, as well, but Pro is well worth it, if you use both Twitter and Facebook.

qStatus – Same idea as Chirpie Pro but with some other neat features, such as letting you see through your camera while typing (for tweeting on the go).

Simplenote – Best note-taking app on the store. Text is displayed in Helvetica for easy viewing, syncs automatically with server, has a pro version that stores revisions of your notes in case you accidentally delete or modify one and need to go back, and way more.

Meebo – Let’s you log in to AIM, MSN, Yahoo, gChat, and more and remain logged in for 24-48 hours after the app is closed. You’ll receive push notifications from anyone that sends you a message and chat history is saved on the server (unless you turn it off) so that you can even see what someone is talking about if they don’t respond for days. This is a must-have, in my opinion.

Byline – Syncs with Google reader for easy reading of your RSS feeds. Has a free version, as well, but this is one of the best ones I’ve seen on the app store in terms of features and interface. There are some visually amazing ones for iPad, but haven’t seen any of those that translate well to the iPhone.

NotifyMe 2 – To-do app that lets you set reminders for events with push notifications OR local notifications (no Internet required, but affects battery life a bit more). Excellent companion for reminders  you don’t want to put in Calendar for one reason or another.

Audio Flashlight for iPhone 4 – Free flashlight app that uses the LED flash for a flashlight, strobe light, and audio strobe.

The Weather Channel – I’ve tried several different weather apps for the iPhone, and while I stopped using this one for several months, the interface is still the best and the performance is (usually) rock-solid.

Dropbox – If you use Dropbox, this app is indispensable, as you can quickly and easily view your files, send links to them by email, and even save some to the internal memory of your device for quick access. If you don’t use Dropbox, sign up free here, and get an extra 250MB of storage for free.

1Password Pro – If you already use 1Password for Mac & Windows (a password, software license, identity, credit card, and secure notes database program), this app lets you sync your data to your iPhone so you have it on the go. The latest version of the app synchronizes your info with Dropbox, so that you can keep everything up-to-date, no matter where you are. 1Password is shareware on the Mac (and Windows), so you can test it out and see how you like it.

SoundHound ∞ – You’ve probably heard of Shazam, which is okay, but SoundHound goes above and beyond, letting you hum a song, or even just type the lyrics in to find out what it’s called. There’s a free version that works like the free version of Shazam (limited number of song requests per month), but the full version is well worth the money if you are constantly hearing a song on the radio and want to know what it is.

Netflix – Instant streaming from Netflix over WiFi AND 3G. This can eat up your data plan VERY fast, so be mindful of that when on 3G. The quality is phenomenal, even over 3G.

5 Minutes to Kill (Yourself) – All [adult swim] games are on sale for a short period of time, so you need to pick them up as soon as possible. You can play any of them for free on the [adult swim] site (Flash required) and decide which you like the best. This one is pretty fun and takes 5 minutes or less to play. I think the title explains it well enough.

Robot Unicorn Attack – Another [adult swim] game, and easily their most successful to date. It plays similar to Canabalt and other “endless-side-scrolling-sprinters” that you may have seen, but it has an awesome soundtrack and amazing graphics. Plus it’s hilarious.

N.O.V.A. – Near Orbit Vanguard Alliance – If you like first-person shooters (and especially if you like Halo), this game will have you feeling right at home. With a pretty impressive campaign, gorgeous graphics, and a rock-solid multiplayer experience, this game really shows that the iPhone can play just about any game type you’ve ever experienced.

Pinball Remote – When coupled with The Pinball on your Mac, turns your iPhone into the ultimate pinball machine controller. One table is free and two more can be purchased from within the app. Very cool.

Plants vs. Zombies – The ultimate in “backyard defense” games. Honestly, anything by PopCap is going to be amazing on your iPhone, but this one goes above and beyond. The iPad version has additional features, but the iPhone version still contains the entire core of the game.

Final Fantasy – The game that started it all, now on the iPhone. If you’ve enjoyed any Final Fantasy game and you want to see where it all began, you need to check this out. Even if you played the original NES classic, this version contains new graphics, a new translation, and some gameplay tweaks to make it work playing all over again.

Wolfenstein RPG – The iPhone lends itself perfectly to RPGs, and this reinvention of an id Software classic is no exception. If you love Wolfenstein and you love RPGs, you’ll love this.

Ocarina – Turns your iPhone into a working Ocarina. I even have songs I’ve transcribed for easy playing on my website.

Epic Citadel – This is a tech demo of a game that Epic (yeah, the guys behind Gears of War and Unreal Tournament) is currently developing. Graphics like this have never been seen on a mobile phone. Ever. And they make the PSP look weak.

So that’s it. That’s the list of iPhone apps I recommend to anyone picking up an iPhone or iPod touch for the first time and completely overwhelmed by the content on the App Store. I hope that it has helped you, at least somewhat, to make your new device sing.

Mmm… vanilla ice cream with satire on top

May 6, 2010 /

So I’ve been trolling the forums over at Bungie.net (and I mean actually trolling, not “trolling“) to get a feel for how the Halo: Reach beta is being received so far. There are a few positive things here and there, but the majority of the posts are full of vitriolic hate about how Halo: Reach isn’t exactly like Halo 2 or Halo 3 and how Bungie has abandoned their fans. Blah-de-blah-de-blah.

One particular gem shone through the darkness to really bring a sense of mischief to my mind. As a result, I dusted off my trusty Chain Gloves with +1 to Satire and prepared a response. First, here is his letter:

Dear Bungie,

For the past month i have been waiting for bungies latest installment in the halo series and with the hype and build up finally coming to and end with the halo reach beta coming out,i couldnt wait to get my teeth into it, but from what i can see so far my expectations have been greatly exaggurated.

Firstly the people at bungie have tried to make the game to much like call of duty and in doing so having killed the soul and fun aspect of the game we have all come to love. I mean seriously Jet packs? Which idiot came up with the idea of putting a jet pack into halo! if i wanted to use a jet pack i would have simply gone out to the shops and bought star wars for xbox not spent 2 hours of my life downloading reach.

Secondly i would like to express my hatrid towards the grab bags who decided that the battle rifle was too good for the game and replaced it with the single most worst, pathetic, sorry excuse for a gun i have ever seen. seriously do you exprect me to try and have a decent dual with some one who in the middle of it trys to slap the ground with the stupid armour lock perk. another reason why i am not going to buy reach is because of the worst beat down system to date! if i cant beat down someone who isnt one shot then there is a serious problem.

Please fix this game or you will loose probably your most finacial giving customer, because i always buy your stupid over priced map packs. seriously get a grip or i will go and play shadow run (A Game which takes skill like the previous halo games.)

Oh, and another thing try updating your servers so they dont crash when more than 5 people are trying to download or play the beta. i mean do you just keep it in a portacabin.

As disapointment goes mine is very big. i would like you to therefore refund my map packs and other purchases to date, and also send me a free bungie t-shirt.

Yours Faithfully

James Vickers ( Annoyed Fan)

And now, my response:

Dear James,

For the past month I have been waiting for iTz xViiCkerZx’s latest installment in the “I Wish Halo: Reach Was Exactly Like Everything I Expected It To Be But Not Really Any Different From Previous Halo Games That I Loved” series of rants and with the hype finally coming to an end with the “Complete and Utter Failure to Use Proper Spelling and Grammar Techniques” rant finally coming out, I couldn’t wait to sink my teeth into it. Unfortunately, from what I can see so far, my expectations have been greatly exaggerated.

Firstly, iTz xViiCkerZx has tried to make the rant too much like a similar rant over at the Call of Duty forums and, in so doing, has removed the soul and the entertainment value of the rant we have all come to love. I mean seriously, complaining about jet packs? What kind of idiot comes up with the idea of complaining about a jet pack in a sci-fi war game?! If I wanted to play Halo 2 or Halo 3, I would have simply gone over to my game shelf, pulled it down, and placed it into my console rather than spending 2 hours of my life reading a very well-crafted book called The Strain (by Guillermo del Toro of “Pan’s Labyrinth” and “The Hobbit” fame), which I quite fortuitously had on hand to keep myself entertained while the Reach beta downloaded. Thank goodness for a means of entertainment as an alternative to my Xbox 360.

Secondly I would like to express my extreme displeasure over the paragraph complaining about the removal of the Battle Rifle. I really was hoping for a polite discourse over why iTz xViiCkerZx preferred to continue using the same exact weapons for three consecutive games, rather than getting the opportunity to try something new and exciting, as the developers fine-tune the already awesome franchise they’ve crafted. Seriously, do you expect me to just ignore the ignorant discourse of a child that has devoted his entire life to mastering a very specific skill set and is throwing a temper tantrum because he has to learn a new system in case someone decides to use the Armor Lock in the middle of combat? I am not going to read any more of these rants due to the most confusing sentence structure to date! If I can’t understand the point of a sentence due to unintelligible gibberish, then there is a serious problem.

Please fix this rant or you will probably lose your most avid reader. I always read your sloppy, overwrought, angst-ridden dissertations. Seriously get a grip or I will go and read a Stephen King novel (an author which takes pride in his work, like I once thought iTz xViiCkerZx did).

Oh, and another thing: try updating your dictionary software so that spell-check doesn’t crash when more than 5 errors are found in one post. I mean, unless you’re just choosing not to use it at all.

As disappointment goes, mine is very big (veiled penile humor intentional). I would like you to therefore refund my Bungie forum membership fee and other purchases to date (such as the T-shirt I bought at Target that got spaghetti sauce on it the first time I wore it, as well as the DVD player I got for Christmas that broke when I threw it against the wall because the Iron Man 2 trailer didn’t live up to my very stringent expectations). Please also send me a free “I’m With Vickers” t-shirt, if there are still any in stock.

Yours faithfully,

Jared Cash (satirist-for-hire)

Halo: Reach beta – My screenshots

May 5, 2010 /

So far I’ve managed to clock just under 11 hours of play time (8 hours of Standard matchmaking and 2.75 hours in the Arena) with the Halo: Reach beta and I must say, it’s the most entertaining competitive multiplayer experience I’ve ever played.

Last night, I got the opportunity to play around with the Theater for the beta. It is a significant improvement over the Halo 3 Theater, which suffered from a number of usability problems. In the middle of a Team SWAT match last night, I managed to pull off a pretty lucky shot on Sword Base. Using the Theater, I created a film clip that might be entertaining for those of you in the beta that can watch it (I don’t have a Bungie Pro account, so I can’t render it to playable video).

But, I was able to snap a few choice screenshots that I found entertaining. I’ve also included them below in case I pull them out of my File Share later.

Halo: Reach beta

May 4, 2010 /

So anyone that follows me on Twitter or is friends with me on Facebook already knows that I’ve been excited about the Halo: Reach beta that just went live for everyone that bought ODST yesterday. I’d still rather be playing the game than actually sitting down to write about it, so I’m going to be brief.

It’s awesome.

It’s like they took all the things I loved about Halo 1, added in a few of the things I loved about Halo 2, stripped out all of the things I didn’t like about Halo 2 and 3, and wrapped it up in a gorgeous engine with a dash of class-based warfare and shoved it right into my brain with a hydraulic piston.

Others have said it much better than me. As a result, I’ve decided to post an excerpt and a link for you.

From Tied the Leader:

“This ain’t no real-world military shooter. This is Halo – true to its roots. This is heavy tech. This is dented steel and sex appeal. This is ballistic boxing in the middle of rush hour traffic with your hair on fire. This is rarely a one-shot/one-kill affair. SPARTANS just aren’t made that flimsy. You want to get some? You are going to have to earn it again. Your opponent is wearing a tank.”

On why Nintendo need not (yet) be afraid of Apple

April 7, 2010 /

I’ve been seeing a lot of Apple fans rabidly proclaiming the iPhone the ultimate mobile gaming machine and the death-knell for Nintendo’s and Sony’s portable platforms. However, as lifelong gamer and the owner of 3 generations of Nintendo’s portable hardware and 4 separate devices in that family, I can say that Nintendo is not going anywhere anytime soon. Let me tell you why:

  1. Nintendo makes their own games – Until such time as Apple starts making games of their own (and Texas Hold’em doesn’t count) and competes directly with Nintendo’s offering, these two behemoths aren’t even in the same ballpark. Sure, they both make handheld devices, and both of those devices seem to be primarily used for gaming in today’s market, but Nintendo also makes great games of their own that Apple just can’t compete with.
  2. Nintendo serves up “fuller” games – Building off the first statement, it’s important to note that Nintendo both makes and distributes games that appeal to a different market than those that are available on Apple’s iDevices. While there is some overlap (with games like FINAL FANTASY and the like being ported to the App Store), developers for Apple’s devices tend to focus more on bite-sized games than large-scale epic, 40-hour sagas. Nintendo themselves has been making Mario and Zelda games for so long that they barely have to try anymore to create compelling games that gamers will play for days on end. Third parties on Nintendo’s devices also tend to create games that will take 20 hours or more to complete the first time through. Apple’s developers rarely craft games of that caliber. They may be fun, but they’re certainly not that grand.
  3. Nintendo has Mario and Zelda – Until such time as Nintendo decides to stop being both a hardware and a software company, Mario and Zelda are Nintendo exclusives. And that alone is enough to keep the gaming giant in business. While the franchises may decline for a time once Shigeru Miyamoto retires, the massive numbers of gamers familiar with these characters will keep the company going for many years. Further, Shiggy has already passed the torch in the Zelda series to Eiji Aonuma and he has done rather well with it. Talent exists, and passion for these franchises has grown immensely throughout the years. Someone will continue to make great games for Nintendo until the lights go dark.
  4. Touch-screen only controls limit the gaming experience – Nintendo popularized touch-screen controls with the release of the original DS in 2004. Apple utilized touch-screen technology to make the world’s most advanced and easy-to-use smartphone in history. But gaming was not at the top of their list of priorities. Nintendo knew that only using the touchscreen would cause control of some games to be erratic while limiting what could be done to interact with your characters on the screen. Until such time as Apple allows for controllers to be attached to iDevices, I don’t see developers successfully developing “large-scale” games as mentioned above for Apple’s devices.

All that said, Nintendo cannot sit still and wait for Apple to rectify the deficits that the iDevices have in terms of being a complete portable game system. It certainly seems like they are moving forward with the new 3DS. However, they are going to have to certainly change up some aspects of their business plan to maintain control.

I suggest that they start by allowing 8-bit and 16-bit games on the Wii to be copied to the DS family of devices so they can be played portably. Syncing wirelessly between the two would be easy and would really increase the desire to have both systems.

You hear that, Nintendo? That one’s free.

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