Category: Two Assholes Watch a Movie

Two Assholes Watch Kuh-nuh-wunning

April 22, 2009 / Jared Cash

I hope you’re excited, because we’ve got a special treat for you this episode. jPar and I were so absolutely unimpressed by this movie, it was so completely unforgettable, that we could barely bring ourselves to talk about it at all. I’m not even joking. Maybe 15 minutes of this podcast is actually devoted to the movie.

This episode we watched Knowing, “featuring” Nicolas Cage and the end of the world. If any of you out there are actually deluded enough to believe that Nicolas Cage is talented, then you probably shouldn’t listen to this podcast. Actually, I take that back. You should listen so that perhaps your eyes will be opened.

Anyway, I apologize in advance for the rough nature of this particular episode. I promise that we’ll do much better next time, when the movie is at least entertaining in its horrendous badness. Despite how little time is devoted to the movie, it still turned out to be rather long. So, if you’d prefer to jump directly past the shitty movie talk and get to the really entertaining parts, listen to the intro and then skip to about the 20-25 minute mark and listen from there.

Anyway, you can subscribe via iTunes below or download it manuallyÂ here.

To listen in your browser, click play below.

Lastly, to subscribe via RSS feed or download in MP3 format, visitÂ this link.

Sharks in Venice addendum

February 12, 2009 / Jared Cash

It sounds like some of you were actually fans of the enhanced version of the podcast tonight. I will see if I can’t figure out a way to get the future versions to properly feed into iTunes to make it easier to get them.Â I believe the issues are ironed out and should work great from now on. As promised, I’ve gathered the photos from the enhanced podcast and put them here in a gallery, just for you.

And you, and you, and yesâ€¦ even you.

Also, I wanted to give this moment give a shout out to Aaron Stimpson for being awesome and creating the intro for tonight’s episode. He’s awesome, and though I’ve never met him before, he gets my eternal thanks.

Two Assholes Watch Sharks in Venice

February 12, 2009 / Jared Cash

Here it is! The long-awaited return of Two Assholes Watch a Movie! Today we’re going to take you on a journey to the fantastic world ofÂ Sharks in Venice. I am not even joking. This movie stars none other than Stephen Baldwin, and uses every last ounce of public domain shark footage they could find.

This time, we’re trying something a little different. I’ve created an enhanced podcast in the AAC format,Â however, I can’t seem to make it work with iTunes and you can subscribe via iTunes below or download it manuallyÂ here.

To listen in your browser, click play below.

Lastly, to subscribe via RSS feed or download in MP3 format, visitÂ this link.

EDIT: Attempting to get the Enhanced version of the podcast working with WordPress was one of the most painfully frustrating things I’ve ever done. I’m probably never going to bother with it again unless someone can show me an easier way. I’m going to go punch myself repeatedly in my Baldwin, now. That being said, I will do my best to get the pictures that are on the enhanced podcast uploaded for you to see soon.

EDITEDIT: I’ve figured out how to put .m4a files in properly.Â For those of you watching this unbearable train wreck as I update and re-update to make AAC files embeddable and iTunes-ified, I do apologize. I believe I’ve got it all ironed out, now.

Podcast comedy theft

December 14, 2008 / Jared Cash

So, the guys over at Cracked.com loved the first episode of our Two Assholes Watch a Movie podcast so much, that they stole all of our jokes and presented them as their own. Not that I can really blame them, you’d be hard pressed to find an intelligent human being that wasn’t already under the glamour of Stephenie Meyer that saw this movie and didn’t make the same realizations that we did.

But that’s beside the point. Anyway, go check them out and be sure to spread the word to all of your friends about our podcast. If you’re super-awesome at recommending people, you may even get a shout out or a guest spot on a future episode. Unless you’re lame. In which case, you’ll probably end up with a permanent spot like us.

Causeâ€¦ we’re lameâ€¦ see?

Two Assholes Watch Twilight

December 10, 2008 / Jared Cash

Welcome to the inaugural episode of “Two Assholes Watch a Movie”! The other day, jPar and I watched Quantum of Solace, which sparked a great conversation, post-movie. As a result, we decided that we should record these conversations and share them with you. The catch is that for this first episode, we decided to go see a movie that neither of us had any desire to actually see. And you get to experience it with us! Yay!

Episode 1: Two Assholes Watch Twilight (Short) – 38:29

For those of you that are more masochistic in nature, we have the unabridged version right here for your listening pleasure.

Episode 1: Two Assholes Watch Twilight (Full) – 59:10

For direct downloads or to subscribe via RSS feed, visitÂ this link.

(I apologize for those of you subscribing via iTunes that have the blog title listed before the podcast title. As soon as I figure out how to fix that, I will.)