Author: Jared Cash (Page 17 of 41)

“Ughâ€¦Â my eWallet is empty again. Guess I won’t buy that.”

October 27, 2011 / Jared Cash

The number of times that Microsoft and Nintendo have lost out on “impulse buys” from me on their respective game stores due to the fact that they use virtual currency is mind-boggling. I’ve probably spent several hundred dollars on the iTunes App Store simply by virtue of being able to hit a button marked “Buy” and having my card get charged. I don’t have to think about it. I don’t have to premeditate. I simply push “Buy”, enter my password, and press Return. There are a number of times that I’ve been interested in picking something up on Xbox Live Arcade and decided against it because I would’ve had to put points into my account first. The act of pulling my card out of my wallet, typing it into the computer, waiting for the points to be added you my account, and then going back to purchase the game acts as an actual barrier to purchase in many situations. Plus, then there are points just wasted and sitting there when I can’t use them all. I’m sure that Microsoft and Nintendo love holding on to my “money” for me, but I would have easily given over much more money if I didn’t have to think about it so much.

I probably spent around $250 on Wii virtual console and WiiWare games during the first yearâ€“maybe year and a halfâ€“that I had the system, but that was mostly due to the number of free points cards I received as gifts. I currently have around 1800 apps for iPhone, iPod touch, and iPad on my computer. Most of them were free when I got them, but I’m sure a couple hundred cost $1, and more than 20 or 30 cost several dollars. Now, of course, Microsoft and Nintendo are terrified to “undervalue” games at $1 (and I understand that), which is one of the reasons I’ve spent as much money on the App Store as I have, but even at $1, pulling my wallet out to add “points” to an imaginary online wallet would still prohibit me from spending as much money on the App Store as I have.

Scary Movie Month – Day 27 – The Amityville Horror

October 27, 2011 / Jared Cash

So, apparently I saw the 2005 remake (iTunes) of this movie back when it came out on DVD, and had forgotten about it. It didn’t take long to remember, though, since the remake borrows heavily from the original. The Amityville Horror (iTunes) is the supposedly true story of a haunted house in Amityville, New York, wherein a family that moved into the house claimed they were terrorized by paranormal phenomena. Based on the book of the same name, it was made scarier in the early days of its release, due to the claims of the events depicted being true.

One of the nicest things about the original, though, was the extra 30 minutes of length, showing the audience many more of the events from the book. Also, Margot Kidder was super-hot in this movie. I’m talking white-hot, supernova. I never felt the same way about her in the Superman movies, but maybe I should watch them again.

The only real problem with this movie is that there are no real scares to be had. There’s a general sense of unease and a few moments where you worry about what mightÂ happen, but nothing truly frightening. If you’re looking for a truly excellent haunted house movie, then I once again refer you to The Haunting (iTunes), which was simply outstanding.

Scary Movie Month – Day 26 – A Nightmare on Elm Street

October 26, 2011 / Jared Cash

The most important rule to remember in a scary movie is to never trust that your boyfriend will actually do what you tell him and stay awake to protect you. Instead, he will inevitably fall asleep and either let you die or die himself. And if that boyfriend is an adorable, babyÂ Johnny Depp, he will explode in a spray of blood all over the ceiling and walls. Which is actually pretty awesome when you think about how everyone else in this movie dies.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (iTunes) is yet another 80s horror flick that focuses more on bizarre rather than truly scary moments. Episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer are often more terrifying than most 80s horror movies.

Elm Street, however, still has an iconic villain that is synonymous with horror: Freddy Krueger. Where Friday the 13th was generic and terrible, Elm Street was original and entertaining. Not scary, but fun to watch. Robert Englund’s Krueger is an excellent villain and he is so much fun to watch. I’m now interested in watching the entire series. I’ll probably watch all of the Jason films, as well, just so I can properly enjoy Freddy vs. Jason, even though I don’t feel confident that any of his films get better.

On the importance of cardio during a zombie apocalypse

October 26, 2011 / Jared Cash

So I was telling a buddy of mine, Justin, about an iPhone app called Zombie Tools, which seemed like a fun and useful tool should you live long enough to use it in the impending Zombocalypse. Justin is the show-runner for the web series, Dead-Wait, so he is a bit of an expert on zombies.

After checking out the app, he responded, “All it needs now is a built-in cardio routineâ€¦”

Which got me thinkingâ€¦

The best cardio routine comes from running for your life. Naturally, then, it would seem logical that every true zombie preparedness plan include one “test zombie” to escape from. The only (and rather significant) problem is that one test zombie inevitably becomes two test zombies, then four escaped test zombies, then eight zombies rampaging through a zombie research center, then sixteen zombies spilling out into the streets, thirty-two zombies taking over a school, sixty-four zombies surrounding a mall, 128 zombies spreading throughout the city, and ultimately 256 zombies in your base, eating your d00dz.

Obviously, it doesn’t stop there, but at this point, you’re either dead or one of them, so it doesn’t matter.

What are your thoughts on how best to prepare for a zombie apocalypse?

Scary Movie Month – Day 25 – Friday the 13th

October 25, 2011 / Jared Cash

I always knew that Jason wasn’t the killer in the first Friday the 13th (iTunes), but I never quite understood how he becomes the killer for the rest of the movies. I get it now. I also didn’t realize that this movie was so terrible. I mean, just awful. I get that now, too.

Honestly, the only reason to see this movie at all is because it spawned 8+ sequels/remakes. It’s worth seeing for the nostalgia, but not by much.

I can’t even say any more about this movie. If I ever watch this movie again, it’ll be simply to make fun of it.

Scary Movie Month – Day 24 – Halloween

October 24, 2011 / Jared Cash

The king of all slasher movies, Halloween is responsible for nearly the entirety of the genre as we know it today. While Psycho may have been the first, John Carpenter’s seminal masterpiece is responsible for taking Hitchcock’s formula and refining it to blade’s edge, creating such iconic moments as seeing through the killer’s eyes as he stalk his prey, mysterious phone calls with no one on the line, and even a lone girl trapped in a house while a relentless killer attempts to butcher her.

Carpenter managed to make a name for himself with this film, leading to a future directing a number of horror and schlock action flicks (including my personal favorite, Big Trouble in Little China [iTunes]). I’ll be revisiting his work this weekend with The ThingÂ (iTunes), and I can’t tell you how excited I am for that. This movie is also responsible for catapulting Jamie Lee Curtis to stardom, and we can’t thank Carpenter enough for that.

App Trailers: Free iPhone apps for all

October 24, 2011 / Jared Cash

Okay, so you guys know I’m always looking for a great deal on iPhone apps. Well, I recently found a great app that I’ve actually started using as a way to get any app I want for free. It’s called App Trailers, and what you do is watch videos of various iPhone apps and you earn points. The points can then be redeemed for gift cards, or you can just dump them directly into PayPal. Every point is worth a penny and there’s no transfer cost. So, earn 108 points, and you can buy any $0.99 app you want (your tax may vary). You can also earn points by inviting others or signing up with a referral code.

Use my bonus code ‘zepfhyr’ to earn 25 extra points when you join.

You can also check out their web app or Android appÂ to earn more points by downloading other apps and rating them.

Scary Movie Month – Day 23 – Child’s Play

October 22, 2011 / Jared Cash

Child’s Play (iTunes) is one of those movies that is simultaneously scary and hilarious at the same time. The idea of a doll coming to life and murderizing people is terrifying. And yet, it’s also hilarious, because it’s a freaking doll!Â I mean, just hold the damned thing by its wrists and it can’t doÂ anything. Anyway, this movie is totally worth watching for the great slow-motion shots of Chucky being shot and hurled across the room by the force of the bullets. Oh, and for the fact that Prince Humperdinck plays a cop (also, I bet you didn’t realize that he alsoÂ played Jack Skellington in The Nightmare Before Christmas).

The inimitable Brad DourifÂ makes an excellent Chucky, even though we only actually get his voice for the majority of the movie. Even today, the puppetry for this movie is still excellent, though I am looking forward to seeing the quality of the new Child’s Play that is scheduled for release in 2013 (again, with Dourif returning as the evil, little demon-doll). This is definitely one worth checking out for its fun-factor, even if the scares are a little weak.

Also, you may have noticed that this was not originally on the calendar for today, but due to a mix-up, I did not actually haveÂ The Amityville HorrorÂ (iTunes) at this time, so I swapped it with this movie. The calendar has since been updated.

Scary Movie Month – Day 22 – The Exorcist

October 22, 2011 / Jared Cash

The Exorcist (iTunes) is one of those classic movies that is often considered a “must-watch” by those that have seen it and is recommended by many horror fans, because of its importance to the genre. Honestly, I can understand why people feel that way, since the movie was pretty creepy (especially for the time) and the special effects were quite awesome. Unfortunately, the actual script for this movie is not terribly impressive. There is barely any plot at all and (unless I missed it, because I was multitasking) I don’t remember them ever explaining whyÂ that specific girl was possessed,Â what the significance of the medallion found in Iraq at the beginning of the movie was (other than the fact that it seemed to be something related to the priesthood), and even how the old priest died (though it was, at least, implied).

If you’re looking for scares, though, rather than quality storytelling, you’d still do well to see this film. I’ve also read that the Director’s Extended Cut (which I didn’t see, because it’s notÂ on Netflix Instant) has some additional, extra-creepy scenes, so watch that version if you can.

Scary Movie Month – Day 21 – Dead Snow

October 21, 2011 / Jared Cash

We should have gone to the beach like I told you.
— RoyÂ

I have two words for you: Nazi zombies. Or zombie Nazis. It doesn’t matter which order you put them in, they are still an awesome combination. Dead Snow (iTunes) is probably the best zombie film I’ve seen from the last 30 years. I don’t care what people say about “slow zombies” vs “fast zombies”. Zombies can be undead or infected or possessed by voodoo. They can be fast, slow, dimwitted, or smart. They don’t necessarily have to be single-minded, though it certainly increases the fear. What I’m saying is, I love zombie movies no matter how the zombies are portrayed, because it’s the simple, unrelenting nature of the beast that inspires fear.

This movie does so many things right, it’s difficult to believe that there is a compelling reason to watch any other zombie movie. The protagonists find so many awesome ways to kill zombies that this movie is now the gold standard for new zombie movies to aspire to. There is plenty of awesome gore, but it never gets repetitive. Also, brains on the floor. I don’t need to say anything more about that. If you’ve already seen the movie, then you just had a brief moment of hilarity as you remembered the scene to which I am referring. But even beyond that, there are so many more amazing moments: “entrail-feasting grenade surprise”, “chaingun snowmobile”, “two-versus-the-horde showdown of epic violence”, and more.

There are even some awesome tributes to Sam Raimi with several series of quick cuts and big, clear sound effects (the first being when one of the characters tears a strip of cloth, wraps it around a stick, dips it in gas, lights it, and pulls it up to his face to see inside a cave). This is a direct reference to both Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness, when Ash uses his inventiveness to replace his missing hand with a chainsaw and gauntlet, though he has used the same trademark in other films, as well. Hell, there’s even a self-inflicted chainsaw amputation scene.

Honestly, if the director had shot the entire film in English, this movie would probably be at the top of the list of great movies for nearly every horror fan. And even though it’s all in Norwegian and you have to read subtitles to understand the conversations, it’s still fantastic. Please see this movie and share it with your friends.

Best of all, it’s on Netflix Instant, in HD.