“Sir… I don’t know if this is the best time for–”
Captain Dirk Darkstar of the Darkstar Spacestar Search & Research Society smacked his first officer across the mouth. The first officer went silent.
“I don’t know what star system you were born in, boy, but I come from the Darkstar System. The darkest system of stars in the known universe.” Captain Darkstar chewed on his holo-cigar and blew holographic smoke across the deck. “I’m not afraid of anything in space. Which means, it’s always time for—”
The USS Darkstar rumbled and shook violently, like a children’s toy caught in a tug of war between God and a child intent on defying his maker. The first officer tumbled and sprawled out on the floor, but Dirk Darkstar, the youngest commander to have command of his own starship in the DSSRS fleet didn’t even flinch.
“Get up, Number One. We’ve got a space kraken to explode.”
Captain Dirk Darkstar flicked his holo-cigar into the holo-trash-receptacle, which flickered into nothingness as the system lost power. The telltale sound of air escaping into the void of deep space was all Captain Dirk Darkstar needed to motivate him to try his riskiest of maneuvers yet. He flipped up the emergency guard on the emergency superlaser detonato-ray activation button and jammed it down, hard.
“Space is no place for a cephalopod.” Captain Darkstar mentally checked off Use word-a-day calendar in tense situation from his daily to-do list as the bridge of the USS Darkstar went white.
“Yippy-kay-yay, moth—”
