I’ve spent over a year wanting to write more.
Every day I sit down at my computer and think of all the projects and ideas I have that would require some attention. They scamper about my brain like rats, trying to avoid being caught. And the moment I manage to clamp a glass jar over one of them and start to examine it so that I can maybe drag 500 words out of it, The Great Distraction Beast rears its ugly head.
Someone knocks at the door, the telephone rings, my computer makes one of a hundred different “beep beep beeps” that mean something wants my attention. I try to tune these things out and focus, but fail miserably, time and again.
Worse still, there is always more content to consume. It’s very difficult to be a creator, but it’s oh-so-easy to be a consumer. Especially when you can lie to yourself that you’re consuming content to stoke the fires of creativity in your own mind. And so, after watching eight hours of Stargate on Netflix, even though you’ve already seen every episode at least twice, you sit down to write again, but all you can think about is watching more Stargate. Or that new web series that was just released. Or checking the news blogs to see if anything has happened since you last checked them 2 hours ago.
And there’s the rub. With so much content in the world and so little time to access it all, how does one choose what makes the cut and what doesn’t? And if one is a content creator, how does that same one cut off from it all and focus?
I’m asking, because I don’t know and I really need to know.
Writing used to be easy for me. I used to have pent-up anger and depression and all sorts of other feels that made me all angst-y and writer-y. But now, I’ve got a good life. Beautiful, loving wife. Three adorable children. Steady pay from a relatively easy job.
And so, I sit and I stare at a blank page and I choose to write about writing. Because anything else would probably be too hard, and plus TGDB is waiting for me to get a great idea so it can stomp it into oblivion.
I’m challenging myself to write every day. Even if I fail and only write once-a-week, it’ll be an improvement over now. But how do I hold TGDB at bay?
Okay, I’ve got a number of books to go try to read now. I should be done with them in about 30 years. Maybe I can write more then.