Oh, yeah! That’s right, I’m busting out the rhymes for this one. Except I’m done, now. Go beatbox somewhere else. And get off my lawn.

Now, where was I? Oh, yeah. Robot Unicorn Attack 2 is in the App Store. For free (as in beer). It’s pretty. I like to play it. If you enjoyed the first one (or the other two), then you’ll probably like this one. It’s a free-to-play endless runner that looks like it was vomited up by Lisa Frank. That’s a compliment, bee-tee-dubs. I was saddened when I first fired up the game and didn’t hear Erasure’s “Always” filling my ear holes with it’s beautiful melody. The song that comes with the game is still quite excellent and feels very 80s child fantasy (like from Legend or The Neverending Story). The good news, however, is that once you reach Rank 4, you can purchase new songs to listen to while playing the game for $0.99 apiece. Those purchases come with 500 Unicorn Dewdrops (I don’t know if that’s what they’re called, but I like calling them that), the in-game currency. So, if you really can’t bear to play this game without some rockin’ 80s music, there’s a small, but decent selection (including “Never Ending Story” by Limahl and “Always” by Erasure).

Another new feature is the ability to customize the appearance of your unicorn (also available at Rank 4). This is one of two ways to spend your Unicorn Dewdrops (the other being to buy one-time use power-ups before your run). There are a number of different skins and accessories to buy for your unicorn, all of which affect the gameplay by adjusting the running speed, the number of times you can jump in the air, or even letting you fly at top speed.

So, if you’re a fan of the original, or endless runners, or you just want to have your cutesy-awesome buttons pushed by a robot, you should download this game.

Seriously, why are you still reading this? Go!

“Always, I want to be with you, and make believe with you, and live in harmony harmony oh love…”

UPDATE: I joined Team Rainbow, when given the chance. Those of you that choose the Dark Side and join Team Inferno will be on my watch list.

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