{"id":851,"date":"2009-01-12T08:45:11","date_gmt":"2009-01-12T14:45:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.zephyrusanemoi.com\/blog\/?p=851"},"modified":"2020-02-06T20:23:37","modified_gmt":"2020-02-07T02:23:37","slug":"jpars-worst-twitter-experience","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/2009\/01\/jpars-worst-twitter-experience\/","title":{"rendered":"jPar's worst Twitter experience"},"content":{"rendered":"

I logged in to Twitter the other day to be assaulted by this assorted nonsense from my good friend jPar<\/a>. Thankfully, it was not a sign of the impending apocalypse (close, but in a true portent of doom he would have been informed that he can invite friends via Hotmail, rather than Gmail; close call, but saved by a small detail).<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u02c6\u017e \u00e2\u02c6\u017e \u00e2\u02c6\u017e<\/p>\n

I’m updating from a PC… And feel like I need to wash my hands. Oh this is soooo gross. about 16 hours ago<\/em><\/span><\/a> from web<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Oh god, something just crawled out from under the PeeCee keyboard! It looks like a paperclip! IT’S ASKING IF I NEED HELP TWITTERING! about 16 hours ago<\/em><\/span><\/a> from web<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“It looks like you’re trying to Microblog via Twitter. You have 51 characters remaining.” MAKE IT STOP! about 16 hours ago<\/em><\/span><\/a> from web<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“Remember to tell folks what you’re doing & where you are.” MY EARS ARE BLEEDING! SOMEONE KILL THIS PAPERCLIP! His faux-folksieness MADDENS! about 16 hours ago<\/em><\/span><\/a> from web<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“Twitter is like Facebook, only without the applications. Would you like me to show you how to set your location?” THE PAPERCLIP HAS A GUN! about 16 hours ago<\/em><\/span><\/a> from web<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“Conserve space by using an ampersand instead of the word ‘and.'” HE’S POINTING THE GUN AT ME! SOMEONE GIVE ME A NEWSPAPER!! about 16 hours ago<\/em><\/span><\/a> from web<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

“You can add friends via GMail or other popular online eMail clients.” HE’S SHOOTING AT ME! WHY, PAPERCLIP! YOU GODLESS MONSTER! WHY?!?!? about 16 hours ago<\/em><\/span><\/a> from web<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Crisis averted. I found a batch of papers and used him to fasten them together into a loose collective. Fucking Microsoft Paperclip. about 16 hours ago<\/em><\/span><\/a> from web<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Thank God Apple just has rockstars living in their software. STING: “It looks like you’re trying to play a sustained D harmonic…” about 16 hours ago<\/em><\/span><\/a> from web<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I logged in to Twitter the other day to be assaulted by this assorted nonsense from my good friend jPar. Thankfully, it was not a sign of the impending apocalypse (close, but in a true portent of doom he would have been informed that he can invite friends via Hotmail, rather than Gmail; close call, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[6],"tags":[118],"class_list":["post-851","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-random","tag-twitter","post-preview"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":900,"url":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/2009\/01\/in-which-wil-wheaton-blocks-me-on-twitter-for-no-readily-apparent-reason\/","url_meta":{"origin":851,"position":0},"title":"In which Wil Wheaton (@wilw) blocks me on Twitter for no readily apparent reason","author":"Jared Cash","date":"January 29, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"About a year-and-a-half ago, the guys over at Penny Arcade made available the speech from their keynote speaker at PAX '07. While I've never been fortunate enough to go to PAX, I've often wanted to do so. Normally, however, I'm not that interested in the keynote speakers, and I felt\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Random"","block_context":{"text":"Random","link":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/category\/random\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":155,"url":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/2008\/10\/twitter-kombat\/","url_meta":{"origin":851,"position":1},"title":"Twitter Kombat","author":"Jared Cash","date":"October 17, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"One of my favorite things about twitter are the strange sort of half-conversations that occur over a period of hours between people. This is one such example. pfhobia: This is the part where you fall down. zepfhyr: Those were $500 sunglasses, asshole! christykay:\u00c2\u00a0Are you two quoting f*cking Mortal Kombat!?! How\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Random"","block_context":{"text":"Random","link":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/category\/random\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1229,"url":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/2009\/06\/zappn-has-arrived\/","url_meta":{"origin":851,"position":2},"title":"Zappn has arrived!","author":"Jared Cash","date":"June 23, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"EDIT: The Zappn blog recently posted a list of new features that have been added since launch. I highly recommend checking them out and just giving the site a tour. I started this post back in May (the 29th, to be exact), but did not finish it as several features\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Apple"","block_context":{"text":"Apple","link":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/category\/apple\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1389,"url":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/2009\/10\/my-iphone-home-screen-ichi\/","url_meta":{"origin":851,"position":3},"title":"My iPhone Home Screen — Ichi","author":"Jared Cash","date":"October 15, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"My buddy jpar (yes, that jpar) posted a picture of his iPhone home screen yesterday, asking others to reveal theirs. At first, I wasn't going to do mine, as it was still primarily the stock applications (even though YouTube and Stocks got little or no use). However, I used his\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Apple"","block_context":{"text":"Apple","link":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/category\/apple\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/10\/p_480_320_9FEE8485-C95D-42E2-B972-FB2472655FE6.jpeg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2804,"url":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/2013\/02\/app-net-or-how-i-learned-to-abandon-twitter-and-start-having-meaningful-conversations\/","url_meta":{"origin":851,"position":4},"title":"App.net: or, how I learned to abandon Twitter and start having meaningful conversations","author":"Jared Cash","date":"February 28, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"So some of you may have noticed that I've been talking or posting things here and there about App.net (or ADN). I promised I would elucidate, but haven't made time for it. Well, this is me elucidating. App.net is a social network service similar to Twitter or Facebook with an\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Random Acts of Technology"","block_context":{"text":"Random Acts of Technology","link":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/category\/rat\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3294,"url":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/2015\/08\/the-vanishing-game\/","url_meta":{"origin":851,"position":5},"title":"The Vanishing Game","author":"Jared Cash","date":"August 18, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I wrote this post months ago and never published it for whatever reason. I'm posting it now, as it's still relevant, but it was written back in February. So, I found this pretty awesome website a couple months back, but never set aside the time to check it out. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "A Day in the Life"","block_context":{"text":"A Day in the Life","link":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/category\/life\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/851","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=851"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/851\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4210,"href":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/851\/revisions\/4210"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=851"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=851"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=851"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}