Mary had a little lamb,
\nIts fleece was white as snow.
\nAnd everywhere that Mary went
\nThe lamb was sure to go.<\/p>\n
It followed her to school one day.
\nWhich was against the rule.
\nIt made the children laugh and play
\nTo see a lamb at school.<\/p>\n
And so the teacher turned it out
\nBut still it lingered near.
\nAnd waited patiently about
\nTo kill the teacher here.<\/p>\n
It waited for the bell to ring,
\nThat half-demonic sheep.
\nAnd when the teacher stepped outside
\nIts vengeance she did reap.<\/p>\n
It slit her throat from ear to ear.
\nIt bit out her left eye.
\nThen Mary and the children came
\nTo see dear teacher die.<\/p>\n
The first few screamed and ran about.
\nA handful gasped and cried.
\nMary’s wicked smile though
\nWas followed by a sigh.<\/p>\n
And when the heathen sheep did roar
\nAnd spray red death around,
\nThe children no more ran nor played
\nBut wound up in the ground.<\/p>\n
And Mary rode her demon sheep
\nInto the gates of Hell,
\nWhere she did take the twisted crown
\nAnd forever wore it well.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Mary had a little lamb, Its fleece was white as snow. And everywhere that Mary went The lamb was sure to go. It followed her to school one day. Which was against the rule. It made the children laugh and play To see a lamb at school. And so the teacher turned it out But […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[12,10],"tags":[31,79],"class_list":["post-584","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poetry","category-writing","tag-comedy","tag-parody","post-preview"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2902,"url":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/2013\/04\/a-sample-morning\/","url_meta":{"origin":584,"position":0},"title":"A sample morning","author":"Jared Cash","date":"April 10, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"The phone rang. 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From Diablo to Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance to X-Men Legends to Torchlight (also available on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Apple"","block_context":{"text":"Apple","link":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/category\/apple\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1953,"url":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/2011\/05\/shadow-on-the-pavement\/","url_meta":{"origin":584,"position":3},"title":"Shadow on the Pavement","author":"Jared Cash","date":"May 19, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"It was Labor Day weekend of 2010. Autumn, Liam, and I were at church (Avery was at his mother's that weekend). The church was having a baptismal service at a large outdoor amphitheater. I don't remember the exact number of people there, but it was the largest gathering in the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "A Day in the Life"","block_context":{"text":"A Day in the Life","link":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/category\/life\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2468,"url":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/2012\/03\/happy-chaos-rings-ii-day-also-the-ides-of-march\/","url_meta":{"origin":584,"position":4},"title":"Happy Chaos Rings II Day! — Also, The Ides of March","author":"Jared Cash","date":"March 15, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"It's the Ides of March, and you know what that means! It's time to open our Ides of March presents! Hey, wait\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 why did you get me a sharp, stabby thing? Ow! That really hurts! Wait, I get it. 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When\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Movies"","block_context":{"text":"Movies","link":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/category\/movies\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/584","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=584"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/584\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3886,"href":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/584\/revisions\/3886"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=584"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=584"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zepfhyr.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=584"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}