I started to list off several that I use regularly, but realized that the list was going to grow rather large, rather quickly. So, I sent him a quick email of the ones I have on my first two pages and promised him a follow-up email with the rest. Then, I compiled the list into a blog post for all of you out there just now getting an iPhone or an iPod touch for the first time. This is, by no means, an exhaustive list, and if you’d like to know what other apps I recommend, please check out my iPhone category for all posts I’ve made about the iPhone.

Apps that I feel are 100% necessary are rare, but there are several that I swear by for their “WOW!-factor” or just because they’re so much fun. This is that list. I’m sure, I have forgotten several, and I know that I’ll have to make another one eventually (thus, the use of penultimate above). But, it’ll get you started. So, without further ado. Okay, maybe one more ado.

Twitter – There are several of these apps, but the official Twitter app is probably the best.

Boxcar – So you can get push notifications when someone mentions you on Twitter, or when you receive an email at an email address that doesn’t support native push email, or any number of other things.

Facebook – This one’s obvious. If you have a Facebook account, you need a quick-and-easy way to keep in touch with those on the site. This app is not as feature-rich as the full site, or even the “touchOS” version, but it has push notifications and some other really nice features, so check it out.

Chirpie Pro – Let’s you quickly post to Twitter and Facebook simultaneously. There’s a free version, as well, but Pro is well worth it, if you use both Twitter and Facebook.

qStatus – Same idea as Chirpie Pro but with some other neat features, such as letting you see through your camera while typing (for tweeting on the go).

Simplenote – Best note-taking app on the store. Text is displayed in Helvetica for easy viewing, syncs automatically with server, has a pro version that stores revisions of your notes in case you accidentally delete or modify one and need to go back, and way more.

Meebo – Let’s you log in to AIM, MSN, Yahoo, gChat, and more and remain logged in for 24-48 hours after the app is closed. You’ll receive push notifications from anyone that sends you a message and chat history is saved on the server (unless you turn it off) so that you can even see what someone is talking about if they don’t respond for days. This is a must-have, in my opinion.

Byline – Syncs with Google reader for easy reading of your RSS feeds. Has a free version, as well, but this is one of the best ones I’ve seen on the app store in terms of features and interface. There are some visually amazing ones for iPad, but haven’t seen any of those that translate well to the iPhone.

NotifyMe 2 – To-do app that lets you set reminders for events with push notifications OR local notifications (no Internet required, but affects battery life a bit more). Excellent companion for reminders  you don’t want to put in Calendar for one reason or another.

Audio Flashlight for iPhone 4 – Free flashlight app that uses the LED flash for a flashlight, strobe light, and audio strobe.

The Weather Channel – I’ve tried several different weather apps for the iPhone, and while I stopped using this one for several months, the interface is still the best and the performance is (usually) rock-solid.

Dropbox – If you use Dropbox, this app is indispensable, as you can quickly and easily view your files, send links to them by email, and even save some to the internal memory of your device for quick access. If you don’t use Dropbox, sign up free here, and get an extra 250MB of storage for free.

1Password Pro – If you already use 1Password for Mac & Windows (a password, software license, identity, credit card, and secure notes database program), this app lets you sync your data to your iPhone so you have it on the go. The latest version of the app synchronizes your info with Dropbox, so that you can keep everything up-to-date, no matter where you are. 1Password is shareware on the Mac (and Windows), so you can test it out and see how you like it.

SoundHound ∞ – You’ve probably heard of Shazam, which is okay, but SoundHound goes above and beyond, letting you hum a song, or even just type the lyrics in to find out what it’s called. There’s a free version that works like the free version of Shazam (limited number of song requests per month), but the full version is well worth the money if you are constantly hearing a song on the radio and want to know what it is.

Netflix – Instant streaming from Netflix over WiFi AND 3G. This can eat up your data plan VERY fast, so be mindful of that when on 3G. The quality is phenomenal, even over 3G.

5 Minutes to Kill (Yourself) – All [adult swim] games are on sale for a short period of time, so you need to pick them up as soon as possible. You can play any of them for free on the [adult swim] site (Flash required) and decide which you like the best. This one is pretty fun and takes 5 minutes or less to play. I think the title explains it well enough.

Robot Unicorn Attack – Another [adult swim] game, and easily their most successful to date. It plays similar to Canabalt and other “endless-side-scrolling-sprinters” that you may have seen, but it has an awesome soundtrack and amazing graphics. Plus it’s hilarious.

N.O.V.A. – Near Orbit Vanguard Alliance – If you like first-person shooters (and especially if you like Halo), this game will have you feeling right at home. With a pretty impressive campaign, gorgeous graphics, and a rock-solid multiplayer experience, this game really shows that the iPhone can play just about any game type you’ve ever experienced.

Pinball Remote – When coupled with The Pinball on your Mac, turns your iPhone into the ultimate pinball machine controller. One table is free and two more can be purchased from within the app. Very cool.

Plants vs. Zombies – The ultimate in “backyard defense” games. Honestly, anything by PopCap is going to be amazing on your iPhone, but this one goes above and beyond. The iPad version has additional features, but the iPhone version still contains the entire core of the game.

Final Fantasy – The game that started it all, now on the iPhone. If you’ve enjoyed any Final Fantasy game and you want to see where it all began, you need to check this out. Even if you played the original NES classic, this version contains new graphics, a new translation, and some gameplay tweaks to make it work playing all over again.

Wolfenstein RPG – The iPhone lends itself perfectly to RPGs, and this reinvention of an id Software classic is no exception. If you love Wolfenstein and you love RPGs, you’ll love this.

Ocarina – Turns your iPhone into a working Ocarina. I even have songs I’ve transcribed for easy playing on my website.

Epic Citadel – This is a tech demo of a game that Epic (yeah, the guys behind Gears of War and Unreal Tournament) is currently developing. Graphics like this have never been seen on a mobile phone. Ever. And they make the PSP look weak.

So that’s it. That’s the list of iPhone apps I recommend to anyone picking up an iPhone or iPod touch for the first time and completely overwhelmed by the content on the App Store. I hope that it has helped you, at least somewhat, to make your new device sing.

However, from the moment that I first fired up We Farm, I knew that I had to tell people about it. It’s such a well-made take on the farming sim formula. It improves greatly over We Rule by allowing you to increase various buildings’ performances by tapping on them periodically to “pet the chickens” or perform other actions. I highly recommend it. Plus, it’s free!

Here’s a quick screenshot to whet your appetite:

On Wednesday, June 23rd, my family and I headed down to the Country Club Plaza in Kansas City, Missouri to have some happy hour dinner at McCormick & Schmick’s (I had the 1/2 pound hamburger and fries, which was delicious as always). We arrived around 5 pm and already saw a few people carrying chairs and coolers in the direction of the Apple Store. After dinner, we went down to the store and saw that there were about 40 people waiting in line already. A second line, specifically for those that had reserved a phone through the website or by calling the store during the initial reservation process, was completely empty. That was my line. I had arrived, more than 12 hours in advance, for a product that I could get by walking into the store at any time during business hours the following day.

But I wanted to be first.

I have owned 3 iPhone models in total, including the iPhone 4. I got the first one for free from my employer and loved it like a child. When the iPhone 3G came around, I purchased a white one and gave my original iPhone to my wife (who eventually traded it for a black 3G to someone that wanted to unlock it). Unfortunately, due to a discount from my employer, I was forced to purchase through AT&T and couldn’t wait in line at the Apple Store. It didn’t matter, though; my 3G went everywhere with me. Many times I was chided for pulling it out during inappropriate moments (TWSS), but I didn’t care. When the 3GS came out, I couldn’t upgrade without paying the full price, but I knew that the next revision of the iPhone would be worth waiting for. And it was.

I pulled my car around in front of the Apple Store and parked it very close to the start of my line. I got out my chairs, my cooler, and my bag of gadgets and sat down with my 7-year-old son to wait for the digital device of the year (I would have preferred to say decade, but it’s the first year–I doubt that Apple won’t top it by 2019). For several hours, we were the only ones waiting in line. Avery played with his iPod, I with my DS. I couldn’t play with my iPhone 3G as I had sold it two weeks prior and spent the first time in 2 years completely cut off from my preferred iDevice. Soon, others joined us and we made many friends. There was the guy whose friends were all waiting in the non-reserved line but asked us to hold his spot in the reserved line so he could hang out with them, the former police officer that loved his iPad for all of the amazing productivity apps that he used it for, the current Apple employees that were so excited about the device and the energy around waiting all night for it that they hung out with us (including one that showed us how to play Marble Mixer for iPad—now also available for iPhone), and the couple that were waiting for their new iPhones together.

The news crews came around several times before dark to interview the earliest line-waiter, a gentleman that had arrived around 3:30 to wait in the non-reserved line. He was a pretty nice guy who had waited in line for an iPhone launch before. He came prepared with a cooler, several reclining chairs, a TV, a Nintendo Wii, and a power source that was somehow tied to his large truck parked directly behind him.

As the night went on, even I found myself doing a few interviews with the news crews, as the reporters came around in the middle of the night. Eventually, I managed to get an hour nap from 5 to 6 am, woke up in time to chug some caffeine, and do a live interview with KCTV5. Most of the questions came down to why I was waiting in line (I’ve never been able to do that before due to how I had to get my last two iPhones), what I thought was so amazing about this iPhone (incredibly fast hardware, video calling, HD video camera), and what I had been doing while waiting in line all night (playing lots and lots of video games).

My wife showed up around 6:30, as well, and began handing out muffins she had baked (she apparently stayed up nearly all night, unable to sleep with Avery and I sitting out on the street all “alone”), which were a big hit. Latté Land brought coffee out to everyone waiting in line, and Apple employees that had been working all night changing over the visual displays in the store started stepping outside to gauge the level of anticipation of employees. One of the managers even walked down the line checking inventory levels of the iPhones that people in the non-reserved line were hoping to pick up to make sure that no one was waiting in line in vain (they weren’t).

Finally, at 7 am, I walked through the doors of the Apple Store, and in less than 2 minutes had an activated iPhone 4. I immediately made a FaceTime call to several people I had waited in line with, as well as my wife, and drove home to quickly get ready for work. It was a remarkable experience, and one that I would not trade for any amount of sleep I lost out on that night.

And you will suffer greatly before you ever see the light again.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

In no particular order:

Fighting Fantasy: Deathtrap Dungeon

Fighting Fantasy: Citadel of Chaos

Gamebook Adventures 1: An Assassin in Orlandes

Gamebook Adventures 2: The Siege of the Necromancer

Final Fantasy II

SONG SUMMONER: The Unsung Heroes – Encore

Tomena Sanner (US)

Cavern

CHAOS RINGS

Archetype

Eliminate: Gun Range

Now hear me out, because I’m a big fan of Hulu. I am not, however, a fan of paying for ads. Nor am I a fan of paying more for less. And, unfortunately, that is what’s happening with Hulu Plus.

Let’s start with the advertisements. I have no problem watching ads in order to view TV. I’ve been doing it for years, and it’s worked out pretty well for me. But the reason that I loved Hulu in the early days is that the ads were fewer and (as the service grew) targeted to the viewer. Unfortunately, Hulu decided that they weren’t making enough money from ads and needed to start a subscription-based model to bring in more money. The good news, now Hulu can afford to pay all those pesky licensing fees so that they can show every episode from every series they’ve got online, even if it’s the current season of your favorite ABC drama. The bad news, Hulu forgot that people paying for Internet-based subscription-driven websites don’t like to also be forced to watch ads during their shows.

Why is this a problem? For starters, Netflix already offers a great deal of the same shows with no ads for a cheaper price. Furthermore, Netflix offers something that Hulu doesn’t (which brings me to my second issue, paying more for less). At Netflix, $9 per month will get you unlimited streaming and 1 DVD out at a time from Netflix’s vast rental library. That’s $1 cheaper than Hulu Plus’s $10 subscription fee and includes the added bonus of being able to watch shows and movies that aren’t available for streaming without ever leaving your house to go rent them (except of course when you walk to your mailbox, but if you’re that agoraphobic, then you have larger problems).

So why will people use Hulu? Honestly, because it’s still a fairly cheap service and has established itself as a common enough name that people trust the brand. Also, the free content remains free, so people will be pressured to sign up while viewing the free content. It’s a business model that has worked well in the past. Netflix doesn’t have any sort of free service. The only way to try before you buy is to sign up for a free month and see how it fits. Plus, if you want access to Hulu on your iPhone or iPad, you’ve got to be a subscriber (though, again, Netflix offers this service for the iPad already and will be adding the iPhone very soon).

Hey, maybe you’ve got money to burn and can afford a subscription to both. If that’s the case, feel free to sign me up, as well. Being able to watch every season of Stargate SG-1 while I’m waiting for my tires to get changed is an excellent use of my (still) unlimited data plan. Suck on that, AT&T.

Liam’s 1-Year Photo Shoot in HD

I wasn’t able to edit it in iMovie for iPhone because I couldn’t figure out how to trim a clip without dragging the end point to the desired location. On a 1-2 minute clip, this wouldn’t be a problem, but one of my clips was 10 minutes long and was quite a hassle. If I can figure out how to do more with iMovie for iPhone or just shoot smaller clips next time, I will definitely post something edited entirely on my iPhone.

As for my new iPhone 4, I’ve actually got a story to tell about the experience of getting it. I just haven’t found the time to sit down and write it yet. Perhaps this weekend, I’ll sneak away for a bit to get it written. It’s already been a week, so it’s past time to share with you.

Dr. Mary Smith, one of the researchers on the fellatio study: “Only with regular occurrence will your chances be reduced.”

Oh, and it can help “shorten the length of a cold or a flu, can soothe a sore throat, and can help manage depression.”

Science is awesome.

“You are clear for space walk, Commander. Good luck out there.”

The voice echoed inside Joe’s helmet. He had a very important task ahead, and he tried to focus on it. No matter how hard he tried, his thoughts wandered.

Little Joey Lynch gripped the bat tightly. He watched the pitcher start the wind-up. Here came the throw. Joey brought the bat around as hard as he could. He missed entirely.

“Don’t worry, Joe!” shouted his dad, as Joey ran to get the ball. “Just keep your eye on the ball. Watch it all the way into the bat. You can do it. I believe in you!”

Joey was the smallest kid on his little league team. His birthday had been about a week before the cut-off date for Kindergarten and his parents had sent him, anyway. Being the youngest kid in class had always made sports a bit harder for Joey. He was smart, probably the smartest kid in school. Except for Joanna. She was able to pick things up even faster than Joey. He didn’t mind, though. He thought she was cute.

But, unfortunately, as the years had passed, being smart wasn’t enough to fit in. And so, Joey had decided to join the little league team that summer. Unfortunately, he had never hit a ball in his life.

“Okay, kiddo,” his dad started, “here it comes!”

The pitch sailed toward him and Joey swung with all his might. The bat connected with the ball, but just barely. It deflected the ball behind him, where it missed his mom’s car by a few inches.

“Whoops!” His dad cringed as the ball very nearly landed them both in hot water. “Maybe we should change our angle just a little bit.”

As Joey moved into position, his dad approached him for a little father-son coaching moment.

“Okay, now, Joe,” his dad began. “This is it. This is the one. I can feel it on this pitch. This is your pitch. Can you feel it?”

Joey nodded his head. His dad handed him the ball for a moment. Joey could feel the weight of it in his hand.

“Did I ever tell you what Grandpa used to say about a baseball, Joe?”

Joey shook his head. Dad didn’t talk about Grandpa as much as he thought he did.

“Grandpa said, ‘The act of throwing a baseball is a very important thing. A piece of the pitcher goes with that ball. A bit of his soul. If he loves the game enough, every player that touches that ball leaves a piece of himself behind. A baseball is so much more than a piece of equipment for a game: it’s dirt and earth and sweat and even tears. Every player that plays the game for love is left behind, long after the game is over.”

Joey didn’t quite understand what his dad meant, but he knew it was important. His dad wiped away a tear that had snuck down his face. Joey pretended not to see.

“When I throw this pitch, a piece of me is coming at you. And that piece of me is going to guide that ball right to your bat. And when you hit it this time, a piece of you is going to join me on a journey the likes of which neither of us has ever seen. Now, are you ready?”

Joey nodded, and choked up on the bat. His dad walked back up the alley to the makeshift “mound” he had kicked in the gravel. He pulled back his arm and threw the ball. Joey stepped forward, pulled on the bat as hard as he could and—CRACK! The ball sailed up and over his dad’s head, way down the alley. Joey jumped up and down as his dad rushed to him and held him up in the air.

“I knew you could do it!”

Joey ran to where the ball fell, picked it up, and–

“Sir?”

Commander Joseph Lynch snapped back to his current situation. The voice from inside the ship echoed through his helmet once more.

“Sir, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Joe responded. “I’m ready to do this.”

“Very good, sir. You are clear to proceed at any time.”

Joe relaxed, took a deep breath, and pulled a baseball out of one of the pockets on his EV suit. “Standing” as best he could in the vacuum of space, Joe hurled the baseball as hard as possible. It sailed out of sight into the black.

“So long, dad. Enjoy the journey. I know I will.”

One particular gem shone through the darkness to really bring a sense of mischief to my mind. As a result, I dusted off my trusty Chain Gloves with +1 to Satire and prepared a response. First, here is his letter:

Dear Bungie,

For the past month i have been waiting for bungies latest installment in the halo series and with the hype and build up finally coming to and end with the halo reach beta coming out,i couldnt wait to get my teeth into it, but from what i can see so far my expectations have been greatly exaggurated.

Firstly the people at bungie have tried to make the game to much like call of duty and in doing so having killed the soul and fun aspect of the game we have all come to love. I mean seriously Jet packs? Which idiot came up with the idea of putting a jet pack into halo! if i wanted to use a jet pack i would have simply gone out to the shops and bought star wars for xbox not spent 2 hours of my life downloading reach.

Secondly i would like to express my hatrid towards the grab bags who decided that the battle rifle was too good for the game and replaced it with the single most worst, pathetic, sorry excuse for a gun i have ever seen. seriously do you exprect me to try and have a decent dual with some one who in the middle of it trys to slap the ground with the stupid armour lock perk. another reason why i am not going to buy reach is because of the worst beat down system to date! if i cant beat down someone who isnt one shot then there is a serious problem.

Please fix this game or you will loose probably your most finacial giving customer, because i always buy your stupid over priced map packs. seriously get a grip or i will go and play shadow run (A Game which takes skill like the previous halo games.)

Oh, and another thing try updating your servers so they dont crash when more than 5 people are trying to download or play the beta. i mean do you just keep it in a portacabin.

As disapointment goes mine is very big. i would like you to therefore refund my map packs and other purchases to date, and also send me a free bungie t-shirt.

Yours Faithfully

James Vickers ( Annoyed Fan)

And now, my response:

Dear James,

For the past month I have been waiting for iTz xViiCkerZx’s latest installment in the “I Wish Halo: Reach Was Exactly Like Everything I Expected It To Be But Not Really Any Different From Previous Halo Games That I Loved” series of rants and with the hype finally coming to and end with the “Complete and Utter Failure to Use Proper Spelling and Grammar Techniques” rant finally coming out, I couldn’t wait to sink my teeth into it. Unfortunately, from what I can see so far, my expectations have been greatly exaggerated.

Firstly, iTz xViiCkerZx has tried to make the rant too much like a similar rant over at the Call of Duty forums and, in so doing, has removed the soul and the entertainment value of the rant we have all come to love. I mean seriously, complaining about jet packs? What kind of idiot comes up with the idea of complaining about a jet pack in a sci-fi war game?! If I wanted to play Halo 2 or Halo 3, I would have simply gone over to my game shelf, pulled it down, and placed it into my console rather than spending 2 hours of my life reading a very well-crafted book called The Strain (by Guillermo del Toro of “Pan’s Labyrinth” and “The Hobbit” fame), which I quite fortuitously had on hand to keep myself entertained while the Reach beta downloaded. Thank goodness for a means of entertainment as an alternative to my Xbox 360.

Secondly I would like to express my extreme displeasure over the paragraph complaining about the removal of the Battle Rifle. I really was hoping for a polite discourse over why iTz xViiCkerZx preferred to continue using the same exact weapons for three consecutive games, rather than getting the opportunity to try something new and exciting, as the developers fine-tune the already awesome franchise they’ve crafted. Seriously, do you expect me to just ignore the ignorant discourse of a child that has devoted his entire life to mastering a very specific skill set and is throwing a temper tantrum because he has to learn a new system in case someone decides to use the Armor Lock in the middle of combat? I am not going to read any more of these rants due to the most confusing sentence structure to date! If I can’t understand the point of a sentence due to unintelligible gibberish, then there is a serious problem.

Please fix this rant or you will probably lose your most avid reader. I always read your sloppy, overwrought, angst-ridden dissertations. Seriously get a grip or I will go and read a Stephen King novel (an author which takes pride in his work, like I once thought iTz xViiCkerZx did).

Oh, and another thing: try updating your dictionary software so that spell-check doesn’t crash when more than 5 errors are found in one post. I mean, unless you’re just choosing not to use it at all.

As disappointment goes, mine is very big (veiled penile humor intentional). I would like you to therefore refund my Bungie forum membership fee and other purchases to date (such as the T-shirt I bought at Target that got spaghetti sauce on it the first time I wore it, as well as the DVD player I got for Christmas that broke when I threw it against the wall because the Iron Man 2 trailer didn’t live up to my very stringent expectations). Please also send me a free “I’m With Vickers” t-shirt, if there are still any in stock.

Yours faithfully,

Jared Cash (satirist-for-hire)