Jul
10
2010

Happy Appsgiving Day!

So today is the 2nd anniversary of the iTunes App Store and to celebrate, the gang behind iWishApp decided to dub today Appsgiving Day. The idea behind Appsgiving Day is to give your friend(s) an app to celebrate. I’ve decided to give a few people a copy of one of my favorite iPhone apps, Underworlds. But, if others are interested in giving apps, as well, I’ve highlighted some of the apps on my Wish List below. Feel free to one or two up for any of your friends (or even me). I’m sure they won’t mind.

∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

In no particular order:

Fighting Fantasy: Deathtrap Dungeon

Fighting Fantasy: Citadel of Chaos

Gamebook Adventures 1: An Assassin in Orlandes

Gamebook Adventures 2: The Siege of the Necromancer

Final Fantasy II

SONG SUMMONER: The Unsung Heroes – Encore

Tomena Sanner (US)

Cavern

CHAOS RINGS

Archetype

Eliminate: Gun Range

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Written by Zeph in: Random |
Jul
07
2010

Hulu Plus = not enough

So Hulu announced their new Hulu Plus subscription service this week and I just wanted to say… it sucks.

Now hear me out, because I’m a big fan of Hulu. I am not, however, a fan of paying for ads. Nor am I a fan of paying more for less. And, unfortunately, that is what’s happening with Hulu Plus.

Let’s start with the advertisements. I have no problem watching ads in order to view TV. I’ve been doing it for years, and it’s worked out pretty well for me. But the reason that I loved Hulu in the early days is that the ads were fewer and (as the service grew) targeted to the viewer. Unfortunately, Hulu decided that they weren’t making enough money from ads and needed to start a subscription-based model to bring in more money. The good news, now Hulu can afford to pay all those pesky licensing fees so that they can show every episode from every series they’ve got online, even if it’s the current season of your favorite ABC drama. The bad news, Hulu forgot that people paying for Internet-based subscription-driven websites don’t like to also be forced to watch ads during their shows.

Why is this a problem? For starters, Netflix already offers a great deal of the same shows with no ads for a cheaper price. Furthermore, Netflix offers something that Hulu doesn’t (which brings me to my second issue, paying more for less). At Netflix, $9 per month will get you unlimited streaming and 1 DVD out at a time from Netflix’s vast rental library. That’s $1 cheaper than Hulu Plus’s $10 subscription fee and includes the added bonus of being able to watch shows and movies that aren’t available for streaming without ever leaving your house to go rent them (except of course when you walk to your mailbox, but if you’re that agoraphobic, then you have larger problems).

So why will people use Hulu? Honestly, because it’s still a fairly cheap service and has established itself as a common enough name that people trust the brand. Also, the free content remains free, so people will be pressured to sign up while viewing the free content. It’s a business model that has worked well in the past. Netflix doesn’t have any sort of free service. The only way to try before you buy is to sign up for a free month and see how it fits. Plus, if you want access to Hulu on your iPhone or iPad, you’ve got to be a subscriber (though, again, Netflix offers this service for the iPad already and will be adding the iPhone very soon).

Hey, maybe you’ve got money to burn and can afford a subscription to both. If that’s the case, feel free to sign me up, as well. Being able to watch every season of Stargate SG-1 while I’m waiting for my tires to get changed is an excellent use of my (still) unlimited data plan. Suck on that, AT&T.

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Written by Zeph in: Random | Tags: , , ,
Jun
10
2010

Fellatio prevents cancer. Pass it on.

I was watching D.L. Hughley’s stand-up on Netflix tonight and he brought an important study to light for which men everywhere will thank him. The study finds that fellatio may significantly decrease the chances of breast cancer in women.

Dr. Mary Smith, one of the researchers on the fellatio study: “Only with regular occurrence will your chances be reduced.”

Oh, and it can help “shorten the length of a cold or a flu, can soothe a sore throat, and can help manage depression.”

Science is awesome.

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Written by Zeph in: Random | Tags: , , ,
May
06
2010

Mmm… vanilla ice cream with satire on top

So I’ve been trolling the forums over at Bungie.net (and I mean actually trolling, not “trolling“) to get a feel for how the Halo: Reach beta is being received so far. There are a few positive things here and there, but the majority of the posts are full of vitriolic hate about how Halo: Reach isn’t exactly like Halo 2 or Halo 3 and how Bungie has abandoned their fans. Blah-de-blah-de-blah.

One particular gem shone through the darkness to really bring a sense of mischief to my mind. As a result, I dusted off my trusty Chain Gloves with +1 to Satire and prepared a response. First, here is his letter:

Dear Bungie,

For the past month i have been waiting for bungies latest installment in the halo series and with the hype and build up finally coming to and end with the halo reach beta coming out,i couldnt wait to get my teeth into it, but from what i can see so far my expectations have been greatly exaggurated.

Firstly the people at bungie have tried to make the game to much like call of duty and in doing so having killed the soul and fun aspect of the game we have all come to love. I mean seriously Jet packs? Which idiot came up with the idea of putting a jet pack into halo! if i wanted to use a jet pack i would have simply gone out to the shops and bought star wars for xbox not spent 2 hours of my life downloading reach.

Secondly i would like to express my hatrid towards the grab bags who decided that the battle rifle was too good for the game and replaced it with the single most worst, pathetic, sorry excuse for a gun i have ever seen. seriously do you exprect me to try and have a decent dual with some one who in the middle of it trys to slap the ground with the stupid armour lock perk. another reason why i am not going to buy reach is because of the worst beat down system to date! if i cant beat down someone who isnt one shot then there is a serious problem.

Please fix this game or you will loose probably your most finacial giving customer, because i always buy your stupid over priced map packs. seriously get a grip or i will go and play shadow run (A Game which takes skill like the previous halo games.)

Oh, and another thing try updating your servers so they dont crash when more than 5 people are trying to download or play the beta. i mean do you just keep it in a portacabin.

As disapointment goes mine is very big. i would like you to therefore refund my map packs and other purchases to date, and also send me a free bungie t-shirt.

Yours Faithfully

James Vickers ( Annoyed Fan)

And now, my response:

Dear James,

For the past month I have been waiting for iTz xViiCkerZx’s latest installment in the “I Wish Halo: Reach Was Exactly Like Everything I Expected It To Be But Not Really Any Different From Previous Halo Games That I Loved” series of rants and with the hype finally coming to and end with the “Complete and Utter Failure to Use Proper Spelling and Grammar Techniques” rant finally coming out, I couldn’t wait to sink my teeth into it. Unfortunately, from what I can see so far, my expectations have been greatly exaggerated.

Firstly, iTz xViiCkerZx has tried to make the rant too much like a similar rant over at the Call of Duty forums and, in so doing, has removed the soul and the entertainment value of the rant we have all come to love. I mean seriously, complaining about jet packs? What kind of idiot comes up with the idea of complaining about a jet pack in a sci-fi war game?! If I wanted to play Halo 2 or Halo 3, I would have simply gone over to my game shelf, pulled it down, and placed it into my console rather than spending 2 hours of my life reading a very well-crafted book called The Strain (by Guillermo del Toro of “Pan’s Labyrinth” and “The Hobbit” fame), which I quite fortuitously had on hand to keep myself entertained while the Reach beta downloaded. Thank goodness for a means of entertainment as an alternative to my Xbox 360.

Secondly I would like to express my extreme displeasure over the paragraph complaining about the removal of the Battle Rifle. I really was hoping for a polite discourse over why iTz xViiCkerZx preferred to continue using the same exact weapons for three consecutive games, rather than getting the opportunity to try something new and exciting, as the developers fine-tune the already awesome franchise they’ve crafted. Seriously, do you expect me to just ignore the ignorant discourse of a child that has devoted his entire life to mastering a very specific skill set and is throwing a temper tantrum because he has to learn a new system in case someone decides to use the Armor Lock in the middle of combat? I am not going to read any more of these rants due to the most confusing sentence structure to date! If I can’t understand the point of a sentence due to unintelligible gibberish, then there is a serious problem.

Please fix this rant or you will probably lose your most avid reader. I always read your sloppy, overwrought, angst-ridden dissertations. Seriously get a grip or I will go and read a Stephen King novel (an author which takes pride in his work, like I once thought iTz xViiCkerZx did).

Oh, and another thing: try updating your dictionary software so that spell-check doesn’t crash when more than 5 errors are found in one post. I mean, unless you’re just choosing not to use it at all.

As disappointment goes, mine is very big (veiled penile humor intentional). I would like you to therefore refund my Bungie forum membership fee and other purchases to date (such as the T-shirt I bought at Target that got spaghetti sauce on it the first time I wore it, as well as the DVD player I got for Christmas that broke when I threw it against the wall because the Iron Man 2 trailer didn’t live up to my very stringent expectations). Please also send me a free “I’m With Vickers” t-shirt, if there are still any in stock.

Yours faithfully,

Jared Cash (satirist-for-hire)

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Written by Zeph in: Random |
Jan
22
2010

The 5 Greatest Father Figures in Television History

Last night, while I was taking a shower before bed, something my cousin mentioned on Twitter came to mind. He had been talking about Alan Thicke, and during the course of the day I attempted to find Alan Thicke on Twitter. I found an account (which is most likely not his) that referred to him as “America’s Favorite Dad”.

And so it happened that last night, while in the shower, I decided to create a list of The 5 Greatest Father Figures in Television History. The only problem, of course, that I haven’t seen every television show in history. As a result, I will accept contentions so long as valid reasoning is included.

So without further ado, my list:

  1. Jason Seaver – played by Alan Thicke, “Growing Pains” – Any child of the 80s remembers Mr. Seaver. He’s the father we all wished we had—unless you liked your dad, as I did. He was cooler than most, he had a deep, imposing “dad” voice, and he had excellent hair. It’s safe to say he trumps all other father figures on television.
  2. Rupert Giles – played by Anthony Stewart Head, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” – While not a father on the show, Giles was the closest thing that Buffy ever had to a father during the course of the show’s 7-year run (despite her own dad making an appearance a few times). Best of all, he was the kind of father that could kick serious demon ass, when necessary (though like Bruce Banner into Hulk, rage was a necessary factor).
  3. Cliff Huxtable – played by Bill Cosby, “The Cosby Show” – I spent a great deal of time with Dr. Huxtable during the years, probably more than any other TV dad. My father loved “The Cosby Show”, which meant we all watched it and loved it as well. He helped me prepare for my time as a father immensely. He taught me that sometimes your children will say and do something that leaves you utterly speechless, and your best response is to simply laugh, inwardly if necessary.
  4. Ward Cleaver – played by Hugh Beaumont, “Leave It to Beaver” – The first televised father figure for most of us, and a favored memory even if he isn’t. Stern, yet fair, Mr. Cleaver is a paragon of fatherhood in the ’50s and as strong an example of a patriarchal society you will ever find on television.
  5. Andy Taylor – played by Andy Griffith, “The Andy Griffith Show” – Andy Griffith has been a part of television for many years and is the quintessential “small-town father”. While some strong similarities to Ward Cleaver, Mr. Taylor was a far more jovial fellow and a much more rounded character. Instead of being a stereotype, Griffith portrayed a well-rounded character seen in a great many situations (likely due to the fact that he was the titular character).
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Written by Zeph in: Random | Tags:
Jan
05
2010

On turning 30

Yesterday was my 30th birthday, and while it’s a milestone that can bring some heavy baggage to bear, it passed without incident. I even received an amazing gift from my wife that was very unexpected: a t-shirt with some Super Mario power-ups sewn on.

She says she’s making me a second one, as well, so I’ll be sure to post that as soon as it’s complete.

As for the birthday itself, I had to work. It was a pretty busy day, thanks to its being the first day back from winter break. But it passed smoothly enough.

I spent the evening playing video games (Marvel Ultimate Alliance, to be exact — I received the sequel for Christmas and I’m trying to finish the first before I play it), and enjoyed a good meal and a wonderful cake (butter vanilla cake, cut in two with strawberries in-between, and topped with cream cheese frosting).

I was struck with a thought yesterday, though, while at work. I’m 30 years old. I have spent 30 years struggling to breathe, eat, and just live on this planet. I haven’t composed a masterwok of storytelling as I’d always expected. What I’ve done instead is raise a remarkable young man in Avery, and started down a successive path with Liam. I’ve married an amazing woman that puts up with my bullshit better than anyone else, and loves me through it all.

I’ve even managed to finally find a way to get back to what I love with the impending creation of Dead Wait, and while I’m in front of the camera, instead of behind it, acting is the very thing that got me interested in this business in the first place.

I don’t have any regrets about what I’ve done with my life and I’d make the same decisions again in a heartbeat. How many can say that about turning 30?

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Written by Zeph in: Random |
Dec
18
2009

Stanza updated; Kindle doesn’t suck?

So yesterday, Stanza for iPhone received a rather significant update, which was rather surprising to me. I say it’s surprising, because Amazon (the makers of the Kindle and the Kindle DX and formerly a rather large competitor to the Stanza application) purchased Lexcycle, the makers of Stanza, back in April of this year. Since that time, Stanza has seen no major update and it was unknown if Amazon would even be supporting the application any further, instead focusing their efforts on improving the Kindle app for the iPhone.

Well, yesterday we got our answer. In its first major update since its inception, Stanza has been completely overhauled. After spending a little time with it, I was able to determine that nothing appears to be broken so far, and the app shows the same great features and attention to detail as it always has, with some slick new interface designs.

But that wasn’t enough for me, as I decided yesterday to add the Kindle app back to my iPhone to see what had changed since I had last used it. Turns out, quite a lot. For example, my biggest complaint in the early builds of Kindle for iPhone was that you had to slide your finger across the screen to turn the page, which could be rather frustrating in long-term usage. I was happy to see that was no longer necessary. A simple tap on the left or right of the screen turns the page, just like in Stanza. I even found a large number of free books to sync to my device so that I can test out the app in the future and see if it will work as one of my top 3 methods for reading books (the other two methods being Stanza and good, old-fashioned paper bound and held in my hands).

I will say this, however. One feature the Kindle app has that really beats out Stanza, is the ability to store any books that you buy online and resync them at any time. While I have a large collection of books available to Stanza thanks to Calibre and the Stanza app for the Mac, should something happen to the data on my computer, I would lose them all. Not so with Amazon and the Kindle store. Perhaps one day they will integrate the two apps into one and I can store books from other ebook stores online and sync to the Kindle/Stanza super-hybrid.

It’s worth wishing for.

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Written by Zeph in: Random |
Nov
08
2009

V: Not for Victory, but for Vanilla

So I watched the pilot for V this week, but have been putting off writing a post about it until I could assemble my thoughts. But if I wait much longer, everything I’ll have wanted to say will have been said already, and I don’t want my faithful readers (all two of you) to feel that I am unoriginal.

There are spoilers ahead. You have been warned.

So far, I’m cautiously optimistic about the show, but the reasons why are what’s really important.

To begin, I’ve seen the original miniseries and found it remarkable. It was well-paced, fairly well-acted (despite the involvement of The Beastmaster), and had an excellent subtext hearkening back to the Nazi rise to power before World War 2.

Having said that, I’ll explain what I liked about the reimagining. For starters, the opening 10 minutes is really solid, with a well-crafted portrayal of the various primary chracters going about their daily lives as the V’s arrive. A plane falls out of the sky, its pilot unconsciously parachuting to the ground. The ships appear overhead and cause fear and panic. There’s even an excellent tongue-in-cheek moment where a kid being interviewed for the news points out that the V’s entrance is right out of Independence Day, while his friend comments that ID4 was a rip-off of many movies that came before.

Another thing I like about it is that it’s going to give us the opportunity to see a lot more of the story, as the original incarnation of the show was canceled during its first season, leaving much of the story unfinished. Assuming this show makes it two seasons, it would be enough to complete the cycle satisfactorily.

The show has some excellent cinematography. The leader of the V’s and her right-hand man are often shown at angles that make them seem imposing or menacing. There are even scenes where Ana (the leader) is made to look even more lizard-like through the use of lights, shadows, and angles.

Lastly, the show hints that the current instability in our world is due to alien agents causing wars and economic depression. My wife has taken that to mean that the show is trying to tell us that GWB is an alien.

But unfortunately, there are things about the show that aren’t so great. For starters, having seen the miniseries, I was disappointed with how quickly the key secrets of the story were given away much too quickly. Essentially, the first 90 minutes of the V miniseries was compressed into one episode of the new series. I had hoped the series would go the opposite direction and stretch out the story, not shorten it.

Further, what made the miniseries so great was the use of a character that had survived Germany in WW2 and spoke about how the same shift in power and loss of civil rights was happening again. While it would not make sense to have the same character in this story due to the 20 year time difference, I do hope that some sort of parallels are drawn as the series progresses.

Lastly, I mourn the death of Alan Tudyk’s character so early in the show. Having a mole in the FBI during the course of the series would have been an excellent way to drive the plot and characters forward. Revealing their true identities so early and ending their characters’ lives eliminates the possibility of having those elements for at least several episodes while they set up new characters to replace Alan Tudyk’s dead one.

All-in-all, V is about what I expected it to be. I had little hope it would be a great show, and wasn’t even sure it would be a good show. I’ll tune in next week to see where the series progresses, but I’m not expecting anything extraordinary. But it’s fun sci-fi/action with pretty actors, so it’ll do to fill my down time at work.

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Written by Zeph in: Random | Tags:
Oct
30
2009

All this has happened before, and all this will happen again

On October 27, David Eick, Ronald D. Moore, Jane Espenson, and Edward James Olmos released upon the world Battlestar Galactica: The Plan. The film follows the story of the Cylons from just before the destruction of the colonies to just before they settle New Caprica. It deals with the reason for their attack on the colonies, what they had hoped to achieve through the destruction of the human race, and why they continuously failed to do so.

But that’s all beside the point. That’s cold, unfeeling words that describe what happens. That’s not what the movie is.

BSG: The Plan is a gorgeously crafted, perfectly choreographed new dance to the same old tune (the one that you kept hearing from the end of season 3 onward). It is a love letter, penned by a poet, and written as a tribute to the fans of the series. It is jaw-droppingly beautiful. It is gut-wrenchingly painful.

It is a testament to the world crafted during the course of this series that it could be tied so neatly together in one 2-hour package. Not only that, but by revisiting key scenes throughout the first two seasons with gaps filled in, you finally understand how certain characters could change so much by the end of the series. You even begin to see how the decision to work together first came to light.

I highly recommend that anyone that has seen the series to its end watch this. Twice.

Oh, and don’t turn it off when the credits roll. The music has to be heard to be believed.

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Written by Zeph in: Random | Tags: ,
Oct
29
2009

(Non-American) Football Hero

I was reading my daily dose of The Tanooki on Tuesday when I came across a video that really impressed me. I’m sure most of you have played (or at least heard of) Guitar Hero or Rock Band. I’m positive, however, that none of you ever predicted this. Now, I can’t kick a soccer ball to save my life, but I know quite a few people that are pretty skilled. The sheer amount of athletic ability required to achieve what is accomplished in the video linked above absolutely floors me. Sure, it’s a promotional video for the band Kasabian, but that doesn’t make it any less awesome.

I recommend watching it full-screen in HD here.

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Written by Zeph in: Random |

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