Zephyrus of the Anemoi

So, a couple months ago, I got an invite to the Lockerz.com website (thanks @davidzumini!). While there’s a lot of speculation out there whether the site is a scam or not, I’m not here to talk about that. I will, however, briefly say that if it is a scam, so far I haven’t had an increase in spam, cold calls, or anything else of the sort. Personally, I think that what others are considering a scam is just a startup trying to meet the demand of the ravenous hordes looking for free stuff. It happens.

Anyway, in order to earn PTZ (virtual currency) for the Lockerz site, you have to log in once-a-day and answer the daily question (2 PTZ for each action). Today’s question I rather enjoyed, as it gave me an excuse to talk about my favorite band.

I’ve been a big fan of Ludo for several years, and have met them twice: once when I came in second for a costume contest at their Halloween show in Columbia, MO (where Andrew Volpe told me that the band thought I should have won) and shortly after danced on stage while they played the Ghostbusters theme (my costume was a ghostbuster), and then again when they played at the Apple Store in Kansas City, MO. So obviously, the answer to the question above was a no-brainer.

About two weeks ago, my son and I had this exchange while he was cracking open acorns outside.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Avery: I found a baby!

Me: What?

Avery: I found a baby inside one.

Me: (looking at the acorn) That’s just the nut.

Avery: (setting the acorn half on the coffee table) But I found something little in there.

Me: Let me see it.

I wasn’t sure what he was talking about, but figured that if I took another look, I’d be able to explain what it was. Sure enough, there was a larva of some sort curled up in the “meat” of the acorn.

Me: You’re right. That’s a larva.

Avery: A what?

Me: A baby insect. Take it outside.

Avery: What does it do?

Me: It grows into a bug. I don’t want it in the house. Take it outside.

He proceeds to take it outside, but mutters something I couldn’t quite make out. When he comes back in, I ask him about it.

Avery: Oh, I was putting some grass on the Martha.

Me: The what?

Avery: The Martha, or whatever it’s called.

Me: Oh. The LARVA.

Avery: Yeah. The larva.

[19:23] sexy_angel89095: <3 Hello <3
[08:29] zepfhyr: seriously? another one?
[08:29] sexy_angel89095: hey whats up?
[08:30] zepfhyr: apparently, you’re about to tell me about how you think I sound really sweet or whatever and then send me to a website where you want me to pay money to see you naked
[08:30] sexy_angel89095: who is this again? Sorry I don’t recognize the name lol
[08:31] zepfhyr: i’m the guy that you sent a random message with e-hearts and a greeting at sometime last night
[08:31] zepfhyr: when I wasn’t even online
[08:31] sexy_angel89095: Oh Ok LOL,Nice!how you doin??
[08:31] sexy_angel89095: I’m actually working right now what are you doing exactly??
[08:32] zepfhyr: i’m waiting for you to get to the part where you tell me how to see you naked
[08:32] zepfhyr: oh, and I’m murdering baby skunks
[08:32] sexy_angel89095: nice, I work from home just starting doing these cam shows  It’s pretty fun actually lol
[08:33] sexy_angel89095: I am a little busy right now cant really talk here but I would LOVE if you came to watch and give me some company, and maybe a GOOD rating ??
[08:33] zepfhyr: oh, really? do you murder baby skunks too?
[08:33] zepfhyr: OMG! we have so much in COMMON!
[08:33] sexy_angel89095: well I think i have a trial pass lyin here one sec babe.. I mean would you want it??
[08:33] sexy_angel89095: yup, I do got another pass left!..YAY.. just please don’t tell anyone else I can get in trouble. What color panties should I put on for you sexy, i’ll let you pick! LOL
[08:33] zepfhyr: do you have black panties with a white stripe in the middle?
[08:34] sexy_angel89095: k lol .. You joining me ? 
[08:34] zepfhyr: in fact, if you can get some lingerie that’s black with a white stripe up the back, I’d be even happier
[08:34] zepfhyr: sure, what’s your address?
[08:34] sexy_angel89095: Ok, go tohttp://tinyurl.com/SOFLYY fill out the form and when you see the secret code box put in adminpass09. Let me know when you’re on the prettty Pink page hun.;
[08:34] sexy_angel89095: k, if your pass I gave you worked it should say $1.50 on top instead of $34.95, if so you are good for my trial dont worry about the autorenew the pass cancels all charges
[08:35] zepfhyr: wait, so I don’t have to pay anything to ki- I mean, see you in that sexy, sexy skunk outfit?
[08:36] sexy_angel89095: CC is just to verify your age hun, it’s a one-time fee of 1.50, its the sites policy to ensure no minors get access to the site .. i gave u the trial pass 
[08:37] zepfhyr: okay, but after that, I can see you? do you have knives or any sharp metal objects lying around that you can, umm… reach?
[08:37] sexy_angel89095: ok let me know when you get in so I can invite you directly to my cam.
[08:38] zepfhyr: hang on, it’s hard to use a mouse when you’ve got blood and fur stuck to your fingers
[08:38] sexy_angel89095: k, you in yet babe?? Don’t keep me waiting!
[08:38] zepfhyr: hang on a second, woman!
[08:39] sexy_angel89095: k
[08:39] zepfhyr: the Interwebs aren’t so fast out here in the boonies
[08:39] sexy_angel89095: k when u login click LIVEWEBCAMS and I’m the girl on the top row farthest to the left. There’s a chat there so I’ll see u there babe … maybe u tell me what to do 
[08:39] zepfhyr: wait, you’ll do whatever I say? well, shit, then I don’t even have to know where you’re at
[08:39] zepfhyr: just pick up the knife and do exactly as I say
[08:42] zepfhyr: are you listening?
[08:44] zepfhyr: fine, i’ll just go back to my “work”, then
[08:44] zepfhyr: thanks for nothin’, tease!

My favorite thing about instant messaging has always been bots. Especially sex-bots. They crack me up.

[23:04] anniemal21: wanna get horny with me?!
[09:43] zepfhyr: wow
[09:43] anniemal21: Yay someone to talk too!! ~~~<3
[09:43] zepfhyr: who me?
[09:44] anniemal21: Which site do u usually go on?? Cause i’m on a few of em.. LoL
[09:44] zepfhyr: are you a bot, or just an Internet hooker÷
[09:44] zepfhyr: ?
[09:44] anniemal21: whats a bot?
[09:44] zepfhyr: a chat program designed to trick people into thinking they’re talking to a real person
[09:45] anniemal21: Oh Ok LOL,Nice!how you doin??
[09:45] zepfhyr: excellent for someone that only got 5 hours of sleep
[09:45] anniemal21: I’m actually working right now what are you doing exactly??
[09:45] zepfhyr: working
[09:46] anniemal21: aww poor baby i wish you weren’t at work.. maybe sometime i can take ur lunch break and we can have some fun for 30 min.. lol
[09:46] zepfhyr: yeah, that probably won’t happen
[09:46] anniemal21: nice, nothin I work from home just starting doing these cam shows  It’s pretty fun actually lol
[09:47] zepfhyr: are you an axe murderer?
[09:47] anniemal21: I am a little busy right now cant really talk here but I would LOVE if you came to watch and give me some company, and maybe a GOOD rating ??
[09:47] zepfhyr: you want me to watch you kill people?
[09:47] anniemal21: well I think i have my free friend’s pass lyin here one sec babe.. I mean would you want it??
[09:48] zepfhyr: well, i don’t pay for pornography, so why not?
[09:48] zepfhyr: unless the video is of you hacking up your family
[09:48] zepfhyr: cause that would be gross
[09:48] anniemal21: yup, I do got another pass left!..YAY.. just please don’t tell anyone else I can get in trouble. What color panties should I put on for you sexy, i’ll let you pick! LOL
[09:48] anniemal21: Ok, go tohttp://www.myhomecamnetwork.com/megansfantasyscroll all the way down to the bottom babe, and you will see “friends of Megan”, click that and when you get the password page, put in the password: “daddy” okay?
[09:48] anniemal21: yup, fill out your info, make sure you put your correct b-day k?
[09:49] zepfhyr: and your fantasy is to axe murder?
[09:49] anniemal21: CC is just to verify your age hun,its the sites policy to ensure no minors get access to the site .. i gave u my free friend’s pass 
[09:49] zepfhyr: but all you gave me was a website
[09:49] anniemal21: ok let me know when you get in so I can invite you directly to my cam.
[09:49] zepfhyr: but, how can i let you know. you won’t respond to me when i talk to you
[09:50] anniemal21: k, you in yet babe?? Don’t keep me waiting!
[09:50] zepfhyr: yeah, i’m in
[09:50] anniemal21: k
[09:50] zepfhyr: now what?
[09:50] anniemal21: k when u login click LIVEWEBCAMS and I’m the girl on the top row farthest to the left. There’s a chat there so I’ll see u there babe … maybe u tell me what to do 
[09:51] zepfhyr: what’s your name? how will i know i get the right one
[09:51] anniemal21: Megan is my real name…
[09:52] zepfhyr: where are you from?
[09:52] anniemal21: I’m from Cali/Modesto but i’m currently living in Houston
[09:53] zepfhyr: why Houston?
[09:53] anniemal21: k
[09:53] zepfhyr: k?
[09:55] zepfhyr: wait, what does that mean?
[09:56] zepfhyr: Megan, come back!
[09:56] zepfhyr: i miss you!
[09:56] zepfhyr: i want to give you BABIES!!!!!1!!11!!eleven