Zephyrus of the Anemoi

.the ramblings of a radman.

Author: Jared Cash (page 1 of 39)

Eleventhiversary

Eleven years ago today, I married the most amazing woman I’ve ever met, and embarked on a remarkable journey that is still in its infancy. Like the great odysseys of yore, this journey has had setbacks and challenges, victories and celebratory joys, and days of endless plodding forward, trudging ever onward.

Marriage isn’t a straight line. It’s a circuitous path, circling back on itself in a fashion that must appear to be a strange doodle when viewed from above. But within that path are intersections where the struggles meet the successes and that is where the greatest moments of a marriage are born.

Eleven is an auspicious number. Celebrations of tenth anniversaries are as common as they come. The number 12 has a special place in my heart, but eleven is the first double-digit prime. It’s also an incredible visual representation of marriage. The two individuals (both the numeral 1) becoming a single entity, the number 11. I am so grateful that my “other number 1” in life is my wife Autumn. I could not have asked for a better partner in crime. I am well and truly blessed today.

I love you, babe. Here’s to 11 more years.

Awaiting (September 11, 2018)

I sit, sipping warmth
As the morning sun falls across the stairs
You are arriving soon, but not yet here
I wait to see you
To meet you
This house, made to be a home,

Quiet

Waiting

Full, but empty without you
Our final piece
The familial puzzle nearly complete
The picture on the box finally visible

We wait

I gulp the remaining life from my mug
I watch the shadows play across the room
The marching band, in the distance,
Heralding your arrival
Unwitting messengers of fate

I listen for your knock at the door
The telltale struggle to enter

Still I wait
In silence
But soon
Soon

I wait

Hey y’all prepare yourself for the rubberband man

Tonight, we were watching Avengers: Infinity War, and when Rubberband Man started to play, my 9-year-old turned to his sister and said, “Do you recognize what this is?”

It’s important to note, my son has never heard this song. But he now associates all music from the ’70s with the Guardians of the Galaxy. As such, as soon as that sweet, soul music started to play, he knew what characters were about to make an appearance.

Well done, Marvel.

PDF Expert turns 11 years old, goes half off

If you’re in the market for a Mac app for editing PDFs, but don’t need (or want) Acrobat Pro, PDF Expert is half off to celebrate their 11th birthday. At $30, it’s a steal.

It’s phenomenal, and I have clients that use it as an alternative to Acrobat Reader. You can get a free trial to check it out before purchasing, to make sure it will do the things you need to do (since it’s obviously not as feature-rich as Acrobat). The iOS version of the app is NOT on sale, but it’s also a fantastic app that I’ve been using for years. Definitely give it a look, as well.

Get an Apple TV 4K for $105 (or maybe less)

DIRECTV NOW is giving away a 32GB Apple TV 4K if you prepay for 3 months of service. That’s a savings of $74 (retail price for Apple TV 4K is $179). Plus, if you have a Bank of America debit card or your financial institution offers purchase rewards, you might qualify for a credit of $35 back, which makes the total price $70+tax. If you’ve been thinking about getting an Apple TV for a while, but haven’t felt like dropping nearly $200, this is a fantastic deal.

No details on when the deal will expire, so I’d hop on this one as soon as possible. Plus, while you’ve got the DIRECTV NOW service, you can start using it right away on the iPhone, iPad, Android, Kindle Fire, or FireTV app to see if you’re interested in keeping the service. If you don’t want it, go ahead and cancel once you receive your Apple TV.

Thanks to The Loop for the heads-up on this great deal.

Photogenic royalty evokes grandiose narrative after night terrors.

My wife and I have been posting a secret message to social media for the last several weeks, but to make it easier for everyone to get the message, and for the sake of having one place to point to when people ask if it’s true, here you go:

If that’s not obvious for you, then click here.

If you’re too lazy to translate, though, then I suppose you can just keep reading.

 

 

 

 

 

Keep scrolling, it’s further down.

 

 

 

 

 

It spells “pregnant”.

As in, we are. Well, Autumn is. But I’m the one that has to do all the work for the next six months, so I’m going to double-down on that “we”. She just has to grow a baby. I have to feed her and bring her things and bathe her and all that.

Well, maybe not bathe.

Maybe.

Anyway, that’s our news. It’s a thing. If you care about that sort of thing, you can wish her congratulations. I am accepting donations for my therapy bill. Whiskey in lieu of cash is doubly appreciated.

Gloriole Jump

With Destiny nearing its end and Destiny 2 ramping up for release, I feel like it’s finally time to share this microstory I wrote about my favorite ship in D1.

WARNING: VULGARITY AHEAD (not profanity, I mean actual vulgar language; you’ve been warned)


“Dude, I found two holes in the wall of your cockpit. What’s that all about?”

‘Oh, that. One of those is my glory hole. The other is my gloriole.’

“What the fucking what?”

‘Yeah. You put your dick in one and the ship’s AI gives you a blowie. It’s awesome.’

“And the other?”

‘Exposes it to pure Traveler’s Light.’

“Which is better?”

‘The glory hole. But if you put your dick in the gloriole, it glows in the dark for a week. And if you fuck a Vex with it, they explode.’

Melodium memoriam

When I was a child, I remember listening to my father’s music and thinking that my dad must be so old to listen to music that was written so long ago: before I was even born. Now, I am 37 years old. My senior year of high school is just over half my life away. When I listen to the songs my youth, I wonder if my kids must feel the same way. I’m fortunate that my teenage son actually thinks I have good taste in music. Even if he’d mostly rather listen to the stuff that’s new to his generation, I still take pride in knowing that he knows who the Smashing Pumpkins are, has heard Nirvana’s Nevermind, and was excited to attend a Green Day concert.

I’m so grateful that I got to enjoy Dad’s music. It heavily informed what I would grow to love as a teenager, a young adult, and then later, a father.

One decade later…

Ten years ago, at this time, I was experiencing one of the biggest rushes of my life. No, I’m not talking about my marriage (though that’s a big one), nor the birth of my children (also up there). In fact, this rush doesn’t compare to either of those. But it’s important, because I shared it with several hundred of my closest friends. I’m talking about the launch of Apple’s first iPhone.

When the iPhone was first announced, the Apple faithful (which included pretty much everyone with whom I worked, since I worked at an Apple Store) were reasonably excited. Very, very excited. We were like kids waiting for Santa Jobs to bring us a Buddha’s Day present (I know that’s not a thing). Shortly after the announcement, my wife sent Steve an email, asking him to please not have the release of the iPhone on our wedding day, that October. I like to believe he listened to her.

Regardless, the day came on June 29th, and we were all bouncing off the walls. We closed the store so we could unbox the new toy, put it out on display, and (for the Genius team and a few others) play with a couple so that we could answer questions about them. One decade ago, today, was the first time I ever dropped an iPhone.

The well-worn shirt I wore, leading up to launch day.

I was turning it over in my hand, marveling at how the engineers had managed to compress a computer more powerful than the original Mac into such a small form factor (compare it to today’s iPhone, and the original is so fat). It slipped through my fingers, hit the floor, and slid to the center of the room. Everyone in the Genius Room got really quiet and looked first at the iPhone lying face down on the concrete, and then at me. I walked over to the nearly $1000 pocket computer and reached down to pick it up.

I fully expected the glass to be shattered, as I flipped it over. I was more than a little relieved to find there was nary a scratch on it. I gladly passed the device to someone else, thankful I didn’t have to explain that one to a manager.

We opened the door a couple hours later and the crowds rushed in to pick up their own. We sold and sold until we were all physically exhausted, but still mentally wired. It would still be some time before any of us got to take one home for our own, but we didn’t care. We had experienced the launch of a product that would rival the Mac in its importance to pushing technology forward. It’s a day I will never forget, not only because of my new technological friend, but because of all the human ones with whom I got to experience its birth.

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Beer, fire, and the Imperial March

Finally got my grill down to the house yesterday. It’s been sitting at my parents for years and years, waiting for a home. My wife decided we should christen it with jalapeño poppers, so that’s what I’m doing. A friend of mine made a delicious English Pale Ale home brew that I opened in commemoration. It’s delicious. I only have one more, but I’m really tempted to open it tonight.

My daughter came outside to see the grill and to take a few selfies, because that’s what you do when you’re the father of a five year-old in 2017. We had some smiles and made some silly faces. She kissed me on the cheek and went back inside. On her way in, I could hear her humming The Imperial March.

This is shaping up to be a beautiful summer.

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